Weekly Adoption Shout Out #WASO Week 229

WASO time again!

Hello there, how has your week been? We’d like to hear about it in your latest blog post, so please do write about it and share it with us by linking up below.

If you’re more of a reader, but have been tempted to set up your own blog, then why not dip your toe in the water by writing an anonymous (or not) piece for The Adoption Social. If you like it, perhaps you might then consider writing a regular blog of your own? Just drop us an email if you’re interested…

Anyway, here’s the linky…



Weekly Adoption Shout Out #WASO Week 228

Hello and welcome to #WASO

It’s that time of the week already, so polish off those keyboards and get your blog posts ready to link up. It’s nice and simple to do, but if you need a little help then check out the post here.

It would be great if you could share a post or two as well, and we’ll do our best to share some too.



Weekly Adoption Shout Out #WASO Week 226

#WASO #WASO #WASO

Come and add your best, worst, favourite, unloved or most popular blog posts to the Weekly Adoption Shout Out. We want to read and hear all about what you’ve been up to this week.

No rules, just add your post below and be kind when sharing or commenting on other posts. Everyone likes a bit of bloggy love.



Weekly Adoption Shout Out #WASO Week 224

It’s #WASO time again!

How has your week been? Pleasant and calm, or challenging? We’d love if you could share your blog posts about how things are for you all?
We welcome blog posts from adoptees, adoptive parents, birth families, social workers, foster carers, therapists – in fact anyone connected in any way to adoption. So please do get involved if you can.
Here’s the linky, just fill in your details…



Top Secret Adopter

BABY 

Once again, we find ourselves surprised by developments. X has brought so many twist and turns into our lives but 10 years on we are still surprised by the influence of external events on our delicatw equilibrium.

News comes, mother has had a baby. We all pause and check our feelings. News of babies usually comes with excitement and congratulations. This comes with unanswerable question and unique feelings.

To make a long story short X finds out.

That’s where it starts to get difficult and where the difficult questions come from. There are no easy answers, no certainty or assurances. All the things that cause X to wobble and make the ground beneath X’s feet uncertain are laid out in front of her.

“You can adopt the baby!” she exclaims

Well, it’s not that simple is it? I’m not sure we can, it seems like we’re just coping and a baby wont turn ‘just coping’ into ‘easily coping’.

She’s angry. Irreconcilable loss mixed with blind optimism and sprinkled with a light dusting of trauma informed behaviour are a recipe for trouble. So, that’s what we get more trouble, tempers, tears, sadness and confusion. Anger is directed at us as she shouts, ‘why not?!’

We verbally walk through the challenges and the reasons, ‘we’re too old, we don’t have the room, it’s not our decision, Mother may keep the baby’ the list is exhaustive. X is having none of it dysregulation layered on top of heartbreak, it spills into all the corners of X’s life and consequently our lives. X can’t make sense of the dual feelings of excitement and loss.

This is complicated stuff, more complicated than I’m equipped for and in the middle of all that I’m managing my own feelings. This child feels emotionally connected to me, I feel like I should say yes, that I should throw our hat into the ring. I’m struggling with guilt, uncertainty, trying to figure out how it would work. The right answer is no but I’m struggling to say no, to this point I’ve always said yes but that’s how we got to here, good and bad.

I lay awake and wonder could we but the reality is I’m tired to the core, adoption, or some parts of it has eroded parts of me that will never be restored. There’s been magic too going back to nappies seems like too much, I’ll be in my 60’s when the baby reaches 18, no is the right answer.
On a routine social work visit we’re informed that mother has had a baby. The question is asked, why I’m not quite sure considering the fact we’re still having routine social work visits, would you consider taking the child.

Every fibre of my being says ‘yes’, my mouth says ‘no’.
@AdopterX

 

Weekly Adoption Shout Out #WASO Week 223

Coming at you every Friday – it’s #WASO time!

So we’re heading towards the end of the school holidays (in fact, the return to school has already come for many), and here at The Adoption Social we want to know how you and the children are handling it? Any reflections from the holidays? Any transition tips to share?

Whatever you’ve written about this week, we’d like you to link up below, then read and share as many posts as you can…



Weekly Adoption Shout Out #WASO Week 222

A big #WASO welcome!

Hello, and welcome to another week of the Weekly Adoption Shout Out – a fab community of bloggers and blog readers sharing the best of adoption related blogs, and supporting each other.

If you’ve got a blog to add, then just fill in the form below. If you’re here to read some interesting adoption blogs, well, you’ve come to the right place, but perhaps have a browse too. Our previously published posts are chock-a-block full of interesting information.