School exclusion experiences

Today our mum from Life on the Frontline wants you to share your experiences of school exclusion.

Problem

As you may already know, from reading this post, Week 23, on Monday, Tall had a two day exclusion from school at the end of last week. Aware that there were some tests coming up in school, we tried very much to give him a supportive and calm time at home with a bit of school work thrown in. However he was very, very anxious about going back to school and by Sunday evening I could tell he was in a very high state of anxiety about the following morning.

He went back into school on Monday with really disastrous consequences, all of which I will share in next Monday’s Life on the Frontline post. This has now resorted to a much slower and lengthy integration for him back to school, also meaning he is at home for most of this week. I really want him to have as little stress as possible around returning to school. So these are my questions. Do you have experience of a child being excluded from school? What do you do with them whilst they are off school? How do you keep anxieties low around their return to school?

2 thoughts on “School exclusion experiences

  1. RachelB

    We’re in the middle of this now. Acorn was excluded from school on Thursday and Friday for kicking another child, racist behaviour, running away and climbing into dangerous places. Your experience about the anxiety really resonates. Acorn has a wobbly tooth. For him, this is a source of extreme anxiety. Firstly, he always has a particularly difficult time with teeth coming through and he’s in quite a lot of pain. Secondly, there’s something for him around things escaping from his body (poo, blood, vomit and teeth all cause huge, huge problems). Also, my father is terminally ill and I’m trying to spend all the time I can with him. I’m trying not to land my distress on Acorn, but he’s hyper vigilant and picks it up. So the result is that it wasn’t surprising he kicked off on Thursday. My partner and I had a feeling he was in a bad way and had a discussion about whether we should pre-empt by declaring him ‘sick’ and keeping him at home. We decided not to because the tooth may not come out for a week or so yet. And there are a number to go. We warned school, but I don’t think they paid much heed.
    My partner is parent at home at the end of the week. She created a boring but safe day, taking Acorn out leafletting for a cause she’s interested in, shopping, clearing up and then we all went to visit my Dad. Like Small, Acorn calmed down as soon as he was collected and we’ve had a relatively easy time of it since, with a few minor squalls. Our aim is mostly not to make being out of school desireable on the activity front. Acorn did comment that he loves school. My feeling is that he has a love/hate relationship with it.
    We’ve got a reintegration meeting on Monday before Acorn can return. We’re just focusing on keeping calm – all of us! I have to say, I’m anxious about Monday myself. I desperately need the time and I’m not very good at dealing with a lot of disapproving authority figures.
    We’re also coming to realise that Acorn really can’t manage in mainstream school, so we’re not going to challenge the exclusion, even though I suspect school could possibly have acted to prevent matters escalating. We’re now looking at it more as proof that Acorn needs a different, therapeutic, calm school environment.
    Best of luck with it all.
    love
    Rachel

    Reply
    1. tasocial Post author

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It is hard to know what to do with them. I’ve always chosen to keep them off school at certain times when they are not coping and we use this time to be together. However you don’t want an exclusion to seem like a “nice” option so it’s how to strike the balance between being positive and ensure the boundary is set.

      Reply

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