Today Sarah from The Puffin Diaries shares the problem of depression within the adoptive family…..
I tweeted recently about how I was struggling with my depression again and in response a number of adopters said they were too. Although it is supportive and helpful when people tweet in response that they are feeling the same, it saddens me greatly that there are a fair number of us who struggle with this debilitating illness.
For me adoption has become a big part of my depression as I battle my feelings of inadequacy at not being able to make things better for my children.
I know my son’s recent difficulties with school have played a huge part in bringing me back to a place where each day feels like a steep uphill struggle. I find that I am increasingly irritable and one of my children particularly pushes my buttons. I find myself stepping away a little, which my ever vigilant children instantly notice. This results in them feeling less secure and the challenging behaviour increases. It’s a bit of a never ending cycle from there on in, as I start to feel even more inadequate as I know it is my own behaviour that is causing the problem.
So I have to try and take control and first I have to constantly reassure myself,
This will pass, it has before and it will again. Tomorrow you may very well feel so much better.
Then I need to concentrate on making myself better and making time to do the things that facilitate this,
Kindness to myself,
Acceptance of myself and my state of mind,
With my children, I find the activities that we find easy to do together, we read, we watch films, we sit together, we cuddle and I reassure them. They know I suffer with depression and we talk about it and I explain it to them. I hope with all my heart that this helps.
I also let my husband take the strain more, something I also struggle with because I feel inadequate when he has to do the jobs I’d normally do, but realistically I know it helps.
Amongst the tweets I shared with adopter the other day, we each offered suggestions to help each other through. I had been hiding from social media but actually reconnecting with people gave me a big push in the right direction, so for me that’s a massive helpful tip.
So today as a problem shared we’re sharing the problem that is depression. I’m asking any of you who do suffer to comment below and share the things that help you get through. Lets all support each other.
Oh and I hope @mizzanels doesn’t mind, but she shared this song with me and it really put a smile on my face, I hope it does for you too.