A Problem Shared – Attitude

DS is nearly 9 and currently in Year 4. And just recently he has been full of attitude.

“Sorreee-ah”. I hear that so much these days, with zero feeling behind it. Problem
“If I have to” *sigh*. That’s another one that I get quite a lot.
“It wasn’t me-ah”. Yep, pretty common here.
And of course there is the general huffing and puffing, arm crossing and stomping around that you expect from pre-teens.

I’m sure this is normal nearly 9 year old behaviour, but how we respond to it might be different.

We have told him that we’ll speak to him in the same way, but when we’ve tried that it leads to a full on “stop taking the mickey out of me” meltdown.

When we’ve ignored it, he gets stompier and louder.

And politely asking him to stop speaking to us like that doesn’t get us anywhere.

Any more ideas? We’re at a loss with this behaviour but feel it’s only a matter of time before it starts to spill over to friends, family and school.

 

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “A Problem Shared – Attitude

  1. Three Pink Diamonds

    Hi, we have an adopted daughter who is in year 4, she turns 9 in Jan. She too has been displaying attitude at home over the last couple of months. She tends to display it most when she has returned from school, so I wondered if it was a natural stage that kids of this age go through?! We are taking the natural consequences route with her at the moment & it appears to be working. For example if she refuses to do something we ask, then we take back the control of simply saying she goes without. I think she is beginning to see that it’s not fun to miss out on things. I think we will always have that added layer of uncertainty with adopted children of not knowing whether their behaviour is a result of their past, their age or development stage. It’s hard! Know that you are not alone.

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  2. Meggy

    Our9 year old is very similar. I think it is an age thing. We have a number of strategies. He often talks rudely. Often just not responding to him until he speaks ‘politely’ works. Ignore him, or just look at him in silence, waiting until he stops. At the worst he gets sent out of the room. If it’s not really rude but just silly and fun we respond in kind and make a joke of it. He is very well aware of when he’s gone too far. I believe he talks like this with his friends.
    As for the defiance, he is given choices as much as possible. So when he says ‘I’m not going to bed, you can’t make me’ we offer him the choice of pyjamas first or teeth first. If he persists he loses the right to choose.

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  3. l

    Apply for adoption fund for psychotherapy…really helps with parenting my 8 year old…understanding and empathizing with him. With the changes he’s going through I think it’s going to be really helpful(we’ve just started). These next few years are so important as he tries to make sense of himself. I want to be there for him..as I can see he’ll need me. ..despite pushing me away.

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