Today we have a post from Laura-Jane – a prospective adoptive parent who needs help with a difficult situation…
My dad is adopted, so is my uncle. They were placed with my grandparents in the fifties, and all that my brother and I know is that they were both relinquished by their mothers in a time when unmarried women were frowned upon. They are both typical of their age – not really talkers, almost retirement age, and content to watch footie on the telly at weekends, with the odd mini-cruise holiday.
Now my partner and I are looking to adopt a child. We know that our social worker will want to talk to my dad, and we know that us adopting a child will bring up some possibly challenging issues for my dad. But he’s completely closed to discussing it with us. Mum and Dad seem happy enough that we are adopting, although to be fair, it’s the only way my partner and I can give them a grandchild, but we really feel we ought to discuss things with him a bit more first. And the only way we *really* know they’re happy, is that they haven’t told us otherwise!
Anyone else had the same challenge to face? How did you get your parent to open up and talk?
We don’t necessarily want to know all about his past – that’s personal to him, but we do want to make sure he understand that adoption is different these days, and that might make it harder for him to support us.