I’m an adoptive dad and have been happily married to my wife for 12 years. Our first child was placed 6 years ago, and then our second (a half sibling) came along 2.5 years ago.
The first few years weren’t too bad. My in-laws helped out with occasional baby sitting, and even the odd over-night stay, but only after we felt that our son was secure enough to handle it. But then when our second child came along, my wife felt unable to leave our new son with anyone…understandably for the first little while, but still (he’s at nursery part-time), she finds it hard to leave him with anyone except those nursery staff and even then I know she only does it because she feels he needs that social time with other children.
This has had an impact on our own relationship, and we barely have any time to ourselves…obviously the evenings once the children are in bed, but beyond that, we don’t go out together as a couple anymore.
My wife changes the subject when I try to talk to her, and I’m really worried that there’s not much ‘us’ left anymore. Without making time for our relationship, I’m not sure it’ll carry on. How can I make her see that we need time too?
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