Sibling support

Today’s shared problem is from @fran_proctor. Have you any advice? Please comment below if you have…

a problem shared

My older sibling has always had many difficulties throughout his life.

My parents (in my opinion) have found themselves at breaking point many times with his behaviour, alienated from some of society because of the differences and quality, consistent support from professionals has been next to non existent.

My problem is that my parents are getting older and my siblings behaviour can be as erratic, infuriating, physically and emotionally draining as ever at times, not to mention the ever on-going support they have to give him ie weekly shopping trips, appointments.
My sibling can be a difficult person to cope with, he is not that unaware that somebody can make his choices for him, yet he doesn’t have the awareness to make sensible or logical choices for himself. All my parents can do is either assist him with his choices or pick up the pieces, which are usually huge ones.

I’m starting to worry as to where this is all going to end.

Whilst my sibling doesn’t live with my parents, I feel my parents should be enjoying their time together now, we should be making sure they’re ok and giving back some of what they have given to us over the years. My parents have never asked for any support from us with my sibling and told us that he is their responsibility, yet we try to give support when we can and there have been times when my parents have been so lost, I have just taken over without discussion.

What would you do in a situation like this?
Would you try and take over more? Would you not want one of your children to take responsibility for another of your children? There isn’t ever going to be any support for my sibling is there?! Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

One thought on “Sibling support

  1. Fiona Rowe

    The word ‘Consistent’ is significant.
    I have a younger brother, adopted like myself but not blood related to me. I was also raised with several temporary ”foster” brothers and sisters who , at times , had behaviour that was challenging.
    It’s difficult ! Now I’m closer to my younger brother who, at times, can still be a erratic infuriating etc,etc-, but he’s my brother, I was raised with him and as my parents now have both died, we’re there for each other.

    Reply

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