The return to work…

Jemma from Two Mums, Two Kids? shares a problem with us. Have you any experiences to share? Or advice for her? If so, leave your comments below…

IBack to work‘m a chemistry teacher, I had been for three years when we adopted our daughter. My year of adoption leave takes me to January 2014 but my school have given me unpaid leave until September 2014 (good for them as it’s a pain to have me start in January, mid school year).

I’m only planning to go back two days, when Squiblet will be at preschool anyway, but I’m already worried about it.

I’ve been worried about it for months.

Being a teacher seems like the perfect job for a mum, but a school day of 8.15-4.20 (realistically 7.45-5.00) combined with parents’ evenings, report writing, planning and extra-curricular commitments means that aside from the wonderful long holidays, it’s not very child friendly at all.

I can do a bit of tutoring, but that’s quite antisocial hours too…I’ve wondered about running revision cramming courses in the holidays….I’ve wondered about starting a toddler science class with a possibility of franchising….I look at job websites and I wonder.

We can just about (really JUST about) afford for me to be off work, but I don’t want to be scrimping forever and when Squiblet goes to school I don’t want to feel like a spare wheel in our family. I just feel a bit silly as I’m a person who has trained as a doctor, retail manager and teacher…and now I’m contemplating not using any of it! Although I suppose I sort of use lots of it…Eurgh. I ramble.

Any thoughts? Any ideas?! Just please don’t tell me to stop worrying and enjoy the next year because I’ve tried that and it’s not working out for me (see above!).

5 thoughts on “The return to work…

  1. Sally

    Can you go back to work for the two days a week and just see how it goes? Could you hand in your notice if it didn’t work out?
    I write as someone who couldn’t return to work (long working hours, children couldn’t do child care) and who found that v hard.
    Adoption however has a habit of changing one’s entire life.

  2. Lindsay

    I have bad and good news:
    Bad – as someone who has just returned to work just over a month ago, it’s been hard. The evenings are jam packed and fly by and weekends are busy and there never seems to be enough time. I’m struggling and anxious and have already needed to take a couple days off to deal with appointments and day care behaviour etc. However, I do work full time and Jonathan has some extra needs so those are factors in the chaos.
    Good – I have a couple of friends with kids who work part time and it seems to be the perfect balance between getting out and socializing/working with adults and having some extra cash but enough time at home to keep the house running and spend time with the littles.
    For me personally, I couldn’t stay at home full time but full time work seems too much. Part time work seems like a dream right now!
    I would wait and see how you feel in a year and test it out. If it’s not working for your family then maybe other opportunities will have come about by then….
    Good luck!

  3. Gem from Life with Katie

    When we adopted Katie I took a years adoption leave with a view to going back for at least three months. I loved my job, trained hard for it, worked hard at it, before Katie. I knew I couldn’t go back to it because of the emotional toll (I worked with hard to reach young teens). Fate stepped in with an opportunity for redundancy which I took (the joys of funding cuts in the public sector) and I’ve been off work three years now. I still miss using my brain and having financial independence but I’m glad I didn’t go back. I had decided to set up my own Reiki business before we adopted Pip but that is on the back burner for a while. I hope to pick that up again within two years though.

    I can appreciate your dilemma. I’d say there is nothing wrong with being at home if you can afford it. I’m glad I did. Katie and I have had fun and bonded so well. It is such an individual decision though, we are all different. I’m not an arts and crafts sort of mum but we do bake. I used to joke that I don’t have time to work because Katie and my social life was too busy. It that changed with her starting school and even more when Pip arrived. I think I miss work more this time around than last time.

    Good luck deciding. What is your anxiety about? Really pin that down and you might have your answer xx

  4. new pyjama mummy

    Hi! I have nearly completed my adoption year off work and we are about to hit the ground running with me going back to work ( school based) alongside starting big school next week! I had it in my head that I had a year off and then would just go back to work but the combination of doing 2 things at once is hard – but I did do my 10 KiT days ( Keeping in Touch days) during this last half term which has helped lessen the hit the ground running feeling, a little – and I will be doing drastically reduced hours initially to ease the starting big school transition – but I hear you – no real advice – but I have thoughts of what else can I do, how will it work almost relentlessly – but I am not going to rush into changing anything – we need the stability of me going back to the normal job and hopefully get settled into big school first – if that makes sense – as Lindsay and Gem say – adoption turns life upside down, somewhat!

  5. Kim

    It’s a tough one and different for everyone. I returned to part time work after 6 months due to changes in financial circumstances and my mental health. It’s been a generally positive experience for my LOs, both seeing me go out to work and benefiting financially, I also feel more like me! Can you identify any concrete worries and solve them? Can you deal with trying out a return to work? Best of luck, let us know how you go…


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