What are your Experiences of DDP?

Today our mum from Life on the Frontline asks you to share your DDP experiences.

Recently I wrote about how Tall and I had started DDP therapy. The first session brought about a very horrid evening. Tall was angry and aggressive in a way I’d not seen for a while and, as my husband was not at home, I was actually fairly scared of what might occur. Thankfully I managed to defuse the situation and all was well the next day. However, I was left with a sense of oh my goodness can I cope with this again on a regular bases. Very selfishly I feel that I’m actually starting to get my life back a little, teaching my yoga classes and both boys doing better in school, well at least there most days for a full day.

depressionWe have since had two more sessions and there has not been a similar occurrence afterwards, however, we’ve not been digging too deeply just yet. I know it will take a bit of time for Tall to feel able to share certain emotions. I’m not about to abandon the DDP therapy, I know it’s much needed and will really help us all. I know I was just feeling a little scared after that first session and I now know what to expect might happen and I can prepare for it. I’m sure it’s going to get harder before it gets better. What I’d like to ask of you, is to share your own experiences of DDP therapy?

Did it get worse before it got better?

Did it help your family?

How did it help?

Do you have any tips on supporting your child through this tough type of therapy?

4 thoughts on “What are your Experiences of DDP?

  1. Entertainingangels

    I’m sorry I can’t help but I’m another mum who would like to know. Suddenly, with the advent of the amazing Adoption Support Fund, it seems relatively easy to access DDP and it’s clearly the mainstay of what most of the therapeutic providers offer. Which leaves me wanting to know a lot more about whether it really is the thing that will make a difference to our family. Suspect with the ASF there may be more and more families asking the same question, which is so much better than more and more families fighting for no help!

    Good luck to you and Tall with the therapy 🙂

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  2. Bomber

    My wife attended a DDP training day provided by our LA post adoption team, and we both did a session that had been added into the Webster Stratton course that we did ( the course had been tailored for adopted children)
    The day after the course Mrs B was walking little legs to,school, halfway down the street LL heard a loud noise (from an exhaust)…. LL froze, his face was pure fear.
    Mrs B nelt down to his level, cuddled him close and in a calm soft voice said” I can see that you are very frightened by the loud noise, when you were a baby before you came to us there were probably lots of noises that scared you and made you feel unsafe, but now you are in our family, we love you and we are here to keep you safe always…… Now let’s see how many flames there are between here and the next lamppost.” With that LL was back on his way to school.

    Mrs B was happy that she had the tools provided by the training session.

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  3. Chocoholic

    We started DDP as a couple in October and with our 12-year-old adopted daughter Twirl at the end of January. We found the parent sessions very helpful, and we have definitely made much better use of the PACE approach at home, which has stopped some situations from escalating and has led to a few interesting conversations and some better connections. We are also using it with our 5-year-old AD Starburst, which will hopefully benefit us all in the long run…. We definitely feel a bit more skilled than we did… But in terms of it making a definitive difference to Twirl and her behaviours – the jury is still out. Lurking in the corridors in fact, with no sign of coming back in!! We have had a few occasions where we thought she was calming and handling ‘no’ better and there seemed to be less anger and less tantrums… but they are few and far between at the moment. On a good day, I feel hopeful, on a bad day… let’s not go there. We know it’s still early days though, ask us again in a year’s time!

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  4. AdoptionCardShop

    We’ve been going with Owl my eldest for about 2 months who was so hurt by his experiences that he was misdiagnosed with a Semi Hemiparesis – related to Cerebral Palsy and meant he would literally shut down having almost palsy fits where his eyes would fix and he would just kind of murmur – completely inaccessible, completely shut down. After a while he shifted from Avoidant Attachment to disorganised – and that is when we started having real problems which included self harming (hitting himself and saying it made him feel better. This lead us to push for DDP and since beginning it has lead to repeating earlier behaviours that I truly hoped we’d seen the end of before we’d started! I too sat there and in the darkest part of my mind (like you clawing back some semblance of life) and wondered “AM I CAPABLE – of repeating this again (aggression, screaming, hurting me)”. However, we’ve spent a lot of the sessions talking about his ‘baby’ feelings brain – and how it was ‘on-line’ BEFORE birth – babies cry/scream for food, needs etc – and as these needs were not met as a baby that part of his brain is still… well … a baby. Babies who have those needs met in that moment have it done with mummies and daddies with warm eyes, loving coo’s and words and behaviours that allow that part of the brain to develop – and Owl needs our help to REPAIR that part of his brain. He can’t do it alone, he needs to feed that part of his brain just like a baby would – with loving care from his mummy and daddy – but in order for that too happen he needs to let us in (SAFELY – without physically hurting mummy!). When he’s repeated these behaviours I’ve been able to remind him that the ‘magic’ that fixes that part of his brain only comes from working together – and it is dripping in. He’s also been reassured that his ‘thinking brain’ (cognitive part) is fully developed – in fact over developed as he learned to protect himself. He’s taking more comfort in this and is trying to let us in. It’s early stages yet – but I do feel much more positive….. I really hope it gets better (before much worse) for you quickly. So far I really do think it’s having the positive impact we hoped it would.

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