Today’s anonymous blogger doesn’t have her own blog, but wrote this post about living with trauma and wanted us to share it. We’d love you to comment and show your support…
Being an adoptive family isn’t easy. There are ups and downs like any family, except our ups seem higher and our downs seem lower than other families.
You see, it’s there all the time…trauma…that word haunting everything we do.
Trauma is prevalent in our lives, but not like a scary poltergeist popping up and throwing surprises at us, more like a chill in the air, there all the time, wrapped around the everyday little things, ever present and hard to warm up from.
Every day I look at my son and think about his past, his first mother, his future, and what’s happening in his young head. But that’s OK – that makes him what he is.
It’s the day to day things – not being able to disclose family history to a doctor, wondering why he’s been spooked by a bad dream, seeing him panic if he can’t get to me in the playground straight away, knowing he’s concentrating so hard on fitting in and keeping those demons in, that he can’t join in with his friends, understanding that he can’t give me a hug, but will offer them freely to strangers – those things are always there, always trying to be understood, always needing understanding and empathy.
I don’t know if it’ll every go away, that trauma, or if we’ll just learn to live with it. Will we ever stop feeling like we’re walking on eggshells?
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