Father and son

Today’s post is from Matthew, dad to his 6 year old adopted son. Here he shares some reflections…Father's hug

He doesn’t look like me.

He looks like a woman we once met, and a man we’ve seen in photos, not me. But he is me….he laughs at the things I do, he gets cross at the things I do, he cares for his mother like I do, he is most definitely my son.

He makes me smile. He irritates me too. But he’s my son, we play, we laugh, we are father and son in every sense of the word, except *that* one…but is that important? The seed may have started somewhere else but I’m his dad – I carry him from the car to his bed after long journeys where he’s drifted off to a dream filled place, I spend hours running up and down the garden with him, I’m the one who gets the high-fives when he’s pleased with himself, and I’m the one he comes running to when I get home from work. That’s being a dad.

That other one? Well, he isn’t interested.
Contact might come in the future, one day when my son and his birth father are ready for it. But it might not. So for now, we’ll be father and son, and I’ll be the dad my son will want to grow into one day.

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3 thoughts on “Father and son

  1. Lindsay

    No matter all the hard days, the tough times, “I’ll be the dad my son will want to grow into one day” I think sums it up quite perfectly of why we are doing this! Thanks for sharing;)

    1. Alison Bates

      Yes – can so relate from the ‘other side’ as an adopted daughter back in the fifties. I shall never forget my dad, always so full of fun, love and caring, and even though he died a week before my 18th birthday in 1969, he is as alive as ever. The other, biological dad, wasn’t prepared to take on his responsibilities, but – actually – he did me a favour, because the dad I grew up with was so special. You’re doing wonderful job. Being a father is one thing, but being a real, hands on dad is something else.


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