A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.
Mother’s day was a success, hooray, we managed it. Low key, eating in the pub across the road which was quiet and close enough to send the children home when they got fed up, leaving the husband and I to enjoy a quiet half hour doing the crossword. I even ordered my own mother’s day present, a selection of lovely teas and two beautiful china mugs from Whittards , so I felt very happy with my lot. No kick offs, not even an argument and quite a bit of laughter.
However, the week started badly, not because of the children but for me, I felt very low. I couldn’t raise my spirits at all on Monday, probably a mixture of hormones and tiredness catching up on me. My low energy levels never go unnoticed by the boys, a skip in my heartbeat and anxiety flickers in their eyes. My husband supported by taking the reins, made the tea, supervised bedtime, but as he’s not feeling a full hundred percent, he struggled. Within 48 hours we spiralled head first into an explosion.
Tuesday evening saw Dad and me screaming at each other followed by him walking out. This has not happened for some time and the speed in which it has taken the ground beneath us left me winded by its brutal force.
I then yelled at the children and shut myself in the kitchen for a cry. All sorts of horridness came to mind.
“If I was a better person I wouldn’t shout at my children….I wouldn’t shout at my husband…I wouldn’t make everyone in my life feel like it’s their fault when it’s all my fault….If only I was a better person…..”
I distract myself by making Tuesday’s tea and then planning the next day’s yoga class.
Dad came home, we made up, we talked to the children about how families fall out but all is fine they make up and move forward. The boys looked half convinced.
The rest of the week was an upward climb which started to eases towards the end of Thursday and then Tall comes home reporting and internal exclusion for Friday.
As communication is still limited with school, we are unaware of the number of incidents which have contributed to this consequence. Tall of course has reported back the minimum he feels he can get away with, whilst showing a level of honesty but ensuring he isn’t in trouble at home. So no swearing revealed, or a refusal to complete work.
On the Friday the exclusion eventually went ahead, after Tall initially refussed, partly because he thought he was going to have to spend the day at the top of a stairwell where all passing teachers eye you “and know you are naughty”, his words. Room is found for him in the exclusion room and he gets on with it.
This event is going to lead to more communication with school. Certain aspects of how it was handled I am again not happy about, however, I also see that a constant level of animosity between school and home is not helpful for Tall. So I intend to try to build a bridge and will bring more news on this next time.
In Other News
My favourite of all my teas is a lavender earl grey, I’m all about the floral flavoured teas.
Small has a new big boy bed, he’s been sleeping in the same bed for eight and a half years, bless him.
We are looking to add a hamster to our menagerie; I’m not sure how sensible this is with four cats.