A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.
As I’ve said before, it’s hard to know from one week to another what will happen in our lives.
I made a call to Small’s primary school on Monday to discuss a possible meeting and update of where we were up to. I somehow managed to instead organise for Small to go into school just for play time the following day and if we felt that went well, get him back into the classroom the day after that.
I thought the playtime would be a good place to start, see his friends, have a positive school experience, which we could build on. Also, I explained to his teacher, that seeing his friends had been quite overwhelming for him the last time we tried to get him back into school. Seeing them at playtime and being able to say he’d be back in the next day would work well for him. Unbeknown to me his teacher also did a discussion in circle time, with the class, about what Smalls feelings may be when returning to school.
The other important part of this return to school is that I remain in school, sat in reception, whilst he is there. This means that if there are any incidents, I’m on hand to remove him and therefore minimise any possible disruption which would lead to an exclusion. People seemed to think this was not such a good idea, I think the feeling is that Small would play up, knowing I was there to take him home. It was suggested I didn’t tell him I was staying however; I followed my own gut feeling and explained the situation to Small. For me the most important thing to be is honest with him, which I know he appreciates and I feel my being there offers him support.
So that was it suddenly back into school and so far it has all gone remarkably well. I feel that Small has started to miss the school environment and so has been happy to return. Everyone has been really upbeat and positive with him which means, he in turn seems upbeat and positive. We have had a bit of a reward system in place and he has very much risen to the occasion. It’s early days still but I’m feeling very hopeful.
For Tall, his week has included his second internal exclusion, half a day for throwing a stone and hitting another pupil. He was fed up about it all but got on with it and managed himself well. He is doing really well but unfortunately still makes poor choices on occasions when his emotions are aroused. Although exclusions are not always recommended for children that have suffered early life trauma, I know Tall does have an understanding of cause and effect and does learn from clear boundaries. Hopefully he will be reminded of how little he likes to be excluded and the lesson will be learnt.
So fingers crossed, it has all in all been a good week. But then we know what crossing my fingers brought last week.
In Other News
Tall handed in a very splendid science project and received two merits for it, I might have given him a little help.
Small tidied his bedroom without being asked this weekend, and event previously unheard of. In fact he over seems in such a positive place this week, that my husband and I joked that he may have been possessed.
My husband and I also got a night out on Saturday, to a party. Small was quite upset wanting to know why we wanted to have fun without him.