Life on the Frontline – Week 14

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A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.

This Christmas I’ve been in paradise, well the closest I could get to it with my two boys in tow. Sounds unfair but let me explain, we’ve been on holiday, a very special holiday. A trip to a beautiful Caribbean island, to stay in a very smart and lovely hotel, alongside a large family group. Yes I know, some of you will have a sickness rising from your stomachs at the thought. Not a stomach churning feeling of excitement, but one instead of dread.

The planning started early in 2014, a large family holiday in a beautiful location, a treat for us all from my in-laws. Wow, how do I resist? I couldn’t. Since the moment I said yes I have filled my thoughts with what will it be like? How terrible could it possibly be? Maybe they will have changed by then? How will my boys deal with this experience?

The night before we flew I felt like we were stepping out into the abyss, a great unknown which at its worst could, turn a holiday in paradise into hell.

I’m really not going to go into many specifics about the holiday. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about crystal clear, warm sea, powdery golden beaches, swimming with turtles and a sighting of Simon Cowell. I know you really aren’t interested in all that. No I want to tell you instead about how proud I am of my boys.

It wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination but, just in case you are ever considering a similar type of holiday, I’ll detail some of the blips, for your information only.

There was the one when, in the middle of a busy restaurant, Small very loud declared “make me“at a request to return to the table, and then stuck the V’s up at me as all heads turned.

There was also the moment I had Small returned to us from kid’s club, for pushing other children. I felt proud because that was the forth time he’d been and the three previous times there had been no incidents.

The numerous times I had to ask them both to leave the swimming pool because they were quite obviously ganging up on a group of children, using very unsavoury methods to acquire the pool floats they desired, to the background sound of tuting parents. I may also have had a few more “make me’s” to face in these moments.

Or Tall constantly behaving like the world is so awful and horrid to him, resident victim, even when he’s in paradise. My logical mind understands him completely, but god it pushes my buttons.

The terrible feeling that those family members with us still don’t get “it”. The clues were in the rolling eyes, the turning of backs and the lack of supportive words.

However, there was nothing I hadn’t half expected, nothing we couldn’t deal with. The lack of understanding from those around me, immediately and on the periphery strengthens my resolve.  I will not allow those around me to undermine what I know to be true about my children.

So I am starting 2015 with a Caribbean fire in my belly. We have much to face in school for Small in the coming weeks, but I am ready to be strong and fight for what is best for my family.

In other News

With a reduced number of presents being sent this year, in our family, I might have put a present under the tree to myself with a gift tag stating “you are amazing”.

We now know Father Christmas definitely travels as far as the Caribbean, what a task that was to organise.

Word of advice, lots of rum punch on Boxing Day is not advisable.

One thought on “Life on the Frontline – Week 14

  1. RachelB

    Lovely to hear it went well and your acceptance of how trauma affects your children. It’s really encouraging to hear your backbone strengthening – helps me with my resolve too.

    Thank you.

    love

    Rachel

    Reply

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