Life on the Frontline – week 15


A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.

I want to start this week by thanking all those people who made time to comment on my Tuesday post The Confession. I was a bit nervous regarding publishing this post but then I realised that being honest and sharing is so important in our community. I think I wrote very much from the heart, in the moment. As you all know, those fears can often seep in and alter the landscape of your life. I think after being together over the whole Christmas holiday period, the intensity of our relationships had opened those cracks that the fear can get to you through. I was all Talled out, after a holiday away with him; things were getting under my skin. With a little bit of school between us, a healthier outlook has returned and I feel a lot more positive about things. But thank you all again and know that none of you are ever alone.

So back to our week, returning to school was like a double edged sword. On the one hand I yearned for the tiny amount of freedom that school offers me but also felt resentful of the enslaving routine it brings. Driving Small too and from his different schools and needing to be at close hand encase something goes wrong, is very restrictive. And on the first day back it did start to unravel almost straight away for Small.

He was bound to be reluctant to return to school, it’s an inevitable part of life with the little man. Still I got him through the door and delivered him to the classroom only a couple of minutes late for his 10.30am start. About an hour later the phone call came through.

“He’s unsettled and not responding to requests, could you come and collect him?”

I’ve agreed to this procedure, for now, to ensure Small avoids being disciplined in school and sent to the isolation room. I collect him and bring any outstanding work away.

He came away calmly and got on with his work straight away when we got home. He ate his lunch and then without little fuss got back in the car to go to the centre. As I delivered him there I wondered how soon I’d be back. However, he managed really well, had a good afternoon and maintained his record of excellence throughout the rest of the week. His positive begin to the year has seen our confidence grow and next week we are going for it. Small will return to school full time.

Tall was anxious as he left the house on his first morning and bounced back in at the end of the day in a really good mood.

“I love school” he stated.

Two days later, he sat in his bed with his new phone, texting me messages about how hard he finds school. It was a lovely honest and open chat about how he hates the way his work looks because of his poor handwriting and how he often feels under pressure and unable to complete the work. I reassured and made promises to check with school about how he’s being supported. As I hoped, the phone will be a useful communication tool for Tall. But I’m also aware as hormones rage we go from very happy to desperately miserable, in the blink of an eye.
My phone call with school the following day revealed a positive opinion on how Tall had coped with his first week back. Yes there had been a couple of blips but, he had used his exit card in the appropriate manner and dealt with it all very well.

So one week down and only four more to go, yes it’s a very short term for us, but by the time holiday time comes again, we should be closer to understanding if Small will be able to access mainstream High School.

In Other News

Small and I enjoyed an outing to the theatre this weekend. It’s always such a pleasure to see how engaged he is he watches a performance.

I’m cold, way to cold; I need to move to the Caribbean.

Tall is getting glasses again he is so very excited about the prospect, hopefully he’ll keep these ones on his face and not lose them…..again.

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