One Adoptee and the story of Daniel Pelka

This piece, by an anonymous contributor, reflects on the recent news story, the death of Daniel Pelka.

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I’ve been watching and listening in awe to everyone’s opinions about who is to blame for the death of another child. For some, the answer is simple and for others, discussions will take place. But what if you’re the sibling of a murdered child, how would you feel then?

It’s a life sentence, a real life sentence – one that you have no choice but to live.

The everlasting guilt and shame you feel for living and not dying are tremendous. You wonder if people would judge you if they knew, tell you that you had no right to be here. You spend so much of your life being frightened, mainly of the unknown. You go on searches for answers because you need it to make some kind of sense, but you never find them. What you believe to be real has somehow been distorted and so you become more lost. You know as a child you would have saved them, but you couldn’t because you had no choice, so you do question which is worse – the adults who committed the crime or the adults who should have protected but watched. You don’t really want someone to blame but you want someone to take responsibility. You want someone to recognise how you feel, someone to tell you it wasn’t right and that it wasn’t your fault. You want someone to acknowledge what they saw the first time they saw it, because you know they saw it. You need someone to say sorry so that you know that it’s all real, that what you have lived through was and is real.

4 thoughts on “One Adoptee and the story of Daniel Pelka

  1. Three Pink Diamonds

    An interesting and thought-provoking perspective. I guess we don’t stop long enough to think about the surrounding family members and friends and the impact that it can have on their lives.

    Reply
  2. Andy Peacher

    Daniel Pelkas Peaceful Protest and Justice Day In Coventry On Monday 12th August at 930am.

    SOCIAL SERVICES Little Park Street AT 11AM 1 minute silence for Daniel and all of the lost children who have died as a result of neglect.

    Parents Business Employees Schools Carers Fire service Police Lets Unite On Monday
    in Coventry in Memory Of The Lost Souls Like Daniel Pelka Baby Peter and any child who has died as a result of neglect.

    Call ANDY 07827731060 for more details

    https://www.facebook.com/events/365930666867229/ Monday August 12th 2013
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Daniel-Pelka-Rest-in-Peace-Justice-Will-Be-Served/154059204791888

    Staggering 33.000 likes. Justice Will Be Done In Coventry

    John V hughes Annonomous justice will be done today.
    We are all outside Coventry Social services next to the police station on On Monday the 12th August 2013 at 0930am. PLEASE SHOW DANIELS FAMILY AND FRIENDS HIS DEATH WAS SO CRUEL BUT WE WONT LET THOSE RESPONSIABLE FORGET EXPECT US.

    Daniel Pelka Sadly died after the failure of Schools Doctors Police and most Importantly the social services in Coventry in the Midlands.

    http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/daniel-pelka-murder-magdelena-luczaks-5395726

    This is a occupy event we will also send other groups to Safeguarding house and the northern care homes as children have been abused injured in these places one mum from Coventry knows all about this.

    When we get thirsty our people will visit Starbucks making sure taxes are being paid expect us.

    For a full press release Contact Andy Peacher 07827731060

    The Kidnapping and the Sexual Abuse of Children legally stolen by uk authorities must and will stop now in Coventry.

    NO MORE VICTORIA CLIMBIE BABY PETER NOW DANIEL PELKA IN ALL THESE CASES SOCIAL SERVICES WAS AT FAULT.

    IN ALL CHILD STEALING BY THE STATE THE PARENTS ARE INNOCENT COVENTRY EXPECT US ANNONOMOUS ARE IN TOWN.

    Reply
  3. Meggy

    Whenever I hear of stories like Daniel’s , where there are surviving siblings, my first thoughts are for those siblings. They barely get a mention by the media – rightly, their privacy must be protected – but they are going through agony. Their whole lives have been torn apart, many of them will face an uncertain future, and have to go through the care system with all that entails, with the added pain of their past experiences. I hadn’t thought of survivor guilt as well, but as this writer says that is a life sentence. They are as much victims as the child who died.

    Reply
  4. Threebecomefour

    Thank you for sharing this post. Siblings are often not mentioned in the media and in some ways that protects their anonymity but it does also mean that we don’t think of surviving siblings as we should do. It must be so difficult to be a child and witness such events and not be able to stop them. The adult brain tries to make sense of something that doesn’t have sense and that is very tough circle to be in. xx

    Reply

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