I feel trapped.
It is a feeling that comes and goes.
At times, I want to walk away, and not look back.
But I know how much damage that will do.
I cannot go.
I cannot ever go because leaving will create such trauma.
He has already suffered so much.
If I go, it will break him and his trust of all will wither.
I’m stuck here.
I hope that I don’t come to resent.
Being forced to stay here, will it make me hate him?
Do I really want to go, or do I just hate that I cannot go if I want to?
Trauma courses through him.
Trauma binds us all together.
Trauma leaks into us all.
Trauma both pushes me away, and ties me here.
Today’s post was written by an anonymous adoptive mother. An honest reflection on how the effects of trauma aren’t limited to those to experience them first hand. Trauma leaks.