Category Archives: Bloggers and Tweeters

#MeetMe – @buildingafamily

Our first #MeetMe is from our twitter friend and blogger @buildingafamily
Quick 5
Book – Sally Donovan A-Z of adoptive parenting (I’ve been reading it in chunks for a while).
Music– Fleetwood Mac
TV programme– Suits.
Food- Blackberry and Apple Crumble
Pastime – sleep!
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What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent? Other peoples presumption and expectations.
What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children? More about their history and life before they came into care to help us better prepare.
Tea/Gin? Both at the same time.
What do you think is your biggest source of support? Twitter.
What do you do to take care of yourself? Spend some time by myself watching rubbish on TV or doing some mindfulness things.
What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received? It is ok to take some steps back to enable you to move forward I.e. Dressing and feeding a 3 year old.
My perfect adoption support would include… someone to talk to and provide life story work close to home.
When I look into the eyes of my child I see.. Excitement about the future.
The best thing we did this week was…. Cuddle on the sofa which both boys on my lap and they stroked my hands,
What I hope I can give to my child/Children? Love and stability.
 At the weekend I can mostly be found… at the beach.
 What makes you and/or your family laugh? Our dance moves.

Meet Me – a Chance to Join in.

Since day one of The Adoption Social we’ve run a feature where bloggers are able to contribute to our website with posts like Meet the Blogger and Me and my Blog. However it seems a little unfair to limit this opportunity just to those who blog. So many of you tweet and comment on our Facebook page and have a huge input to our online community. So maybe you too would like a chance to tells us a little about yourself.

If you are interested, all you do is answer a few questions about yourself. You chose which five you want to answer from the list, but we ask everyone to complete the quick 5, it’s all a bit of fun. There are two sets of questions one for adoptive parents and the second set for adoptees.

Meet Me questions:

For everyonePlease answer these 5 questions,

Quick 5 – In my life at the moment….

  • Book –
  • Music-
  • TV programme
  • Food
  • Pastime

Then choose 5 questions minimum to answer form the following list..

Adoptive parents:

  1. What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?
  2. What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?
  3.  What inspires you?
  4. Who inspires you?
  5. Tea/Gin?
  6. What do you think is your biggest source of support?
  7. What do you do to take care of yourself?
  8. What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?
  9. My perfect adoption support would include…
  10. When I look into the eyes of my child I see..
  11. The best thing we did this week was….
  12. If you could take your children anywhere in the world to see something where would you go?
  13. What I hope I can give to my child/Children?
  14.  At the weekend I can mostly be found…
  15.  What makes you and/or your family laugh?

Adoptees

  1. Can you choose 3 words that describe your experiences?
  2. My perfect support network would include….
  3. What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?
  4. When I look in the mirror I see…
  5. The best thing I did this week was…
  6. If you could travel anywhere in the world to see something where would you go?
  7. At the weekend I can mostly be found….
  8. What makes you laugh?
  9. Tea/Gin?
  10. What do you think is your biggest source of support?
  11. What inspires you?
  12. Who inspires you?
  13. What do you do to take care of yourself?
  14. If you have children of your own, what are your greatest hopes for them?
  15. What are your greatest hopes for yourself?

So select your questions and get answering. Once you are done your email your answers to theadoptionsocial@gmail.com

How Twitter Changed my Life.

Today Sarah from The Puffin Diaries tells us how her life has changed since joining twitter.

Last week I attended a conference. I stood on stage next to my friend, fellow adopter and founder of The Open Nest Charity, Amanda Boorman, and talked, all be it briefly, about how The Adoption Social came to be. We then went on to introduce and show, for the very first time, the new animation commissioned by The Open Nest and based on information that The Adoption Social had collated from the on-line community. At that moment, I couldn’t have felt prouder of being part of the adoption on-line community.

Throughout the day I also spoke to many people about the support they could find on line, about the fantastic friendships I’d forged with people I’d met through Twitter and how wonderful it is to read so many amazing adoption blogs.

Even as I write this, it all seems a little surreal.

Nearly three years ago I joined twitter and I didn’t really know what was going to happen. Many people I know had said “oh I can’t get along with that twitter” or “I don’t get it”.Tweeting

I think it is a little bit of an odd space if you don’t really know why you’re there. Especially if you already do Facebook where the majority of your friends hang out. But if you have a cause or are looking for some like minded folk,, then it can be a really positive place to be.

My first twitter name was @adoptionbliss, slightly tongue in cheek because life was far from bliss. We were experiencing regular violent out bursts and I think it was around the time of fire starting, running away and stealing too.

Something strange happened; maybe I tweeted something or said “hello” to another adopter on twitter, but suddenly lots of people were saying “hello back” and suggesting people for me to follow.

I must confess that from that point on I became massively addicted to twitter.

So nearly three years ago I took the plunge to join a social media thingy. One that often gets bad press for bullying, bitching and general hating of others. In my three years I’ve only ever had a couple of bad experiences on twitter and they were quickly dealt with by blocking.

Instead what I’ve found is the most INCREDIBLE source of support, love, empathy, compassion, understanding and a sense of belonging. I have friends who understand my life. I have friends who are there online but are also at the end of the telephone. I have friends that I can make plans to see all of whom I met on twitter.

I am a co-founder of The Adoption Social a site which aims to support the on-line community because of twitter.

I have my own blog The Puffin Diaries, where I write, all though not that often recently, about adoption because of twitter.

I am a trustee for a progressive and creative thinking adoption support charity The Open Nest because of twitter..

And I’m talking at conferences because of twitter.

But most of all and most importantly, for me, is I am now no longer ever alone because of twitter.

Three years on my life has changed quite dramatically because one day I decided to joined twitter.

So if you read this site but have not yet taken the plunge to join twitter, why not give it a go today.

Here’s our post on how to set up an account safely.

Oh and don’t forget, once you’ve joined to come and say hello find us @adoptionsocial.

Meet The Blogger – Five go on an Adventure

Today’s meet the blogger is Five go on an Adventure
5go
 
 
Quick 5 – In my life at the moment….
Book – the Science of Parenting Margot Sunderland and The Little Coffee shop in Kabul Deborah Rodriguez
Music–  Fairground Attraction
TV programme- Gotham watching with child 2 and Strictly Come Dancing
Food– Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Italian, Asian, traditional roast and toad in the hole, Chocolate – I have had a love affair with food for many years now.
Pastime– Discussion groups, gin and tonic with the girls and eating out.
What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?
Patience and dealing with heartbreak.
What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?
More about attachment and therapeutic parenting and a realisation as to how pro active I have to be.
Why did you start blogging about adoption?
 Initially to share our story with friends and family, our child has to remain anonymous so face book is a danger. But it has become an out pouring of concerns, grief and happiness. I found it to be a way to look out for a positive.
Where do you get your blogging inspiration from?
Every day life, it could be seeing a caterpillar crawling across a path, a rainbow, or something that is so about adoption like a behaviour linked to attachment
Who is your favourite adoption blogger? Sally Donovan
Who is your favourite non-adoption blogger? The Potty Diaries
What made you choose the blogging platform i.e blogger/wordpress that you did?
It was the first one that came up in Google.
Tea/Gin? Tea generally, gin and tonic over ice with a slice of lime with my besties when we need a “board meeting”

What do you think is your biggest source of support?
My parents, my social worker and Kirsty and Nicki, not forgetting the chocolate and the caffeine.
Reward charts yes/no?
Not sure, cynically they didn’t work for my older three, will have to let you know.
What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?
Trust in yourself and ask for help when you need it.
My perfect adoption support would include…
A waterproof shoulder and a bottle of prosecco to share.
When I look into the eyes of my child I see..
Uncertainty.
The best thing we did this week was….
Dressing up as super heroes, made up superheroes not the marketed ones.
If you could take your children anywhere in the world to see something where would you go? India to see the tigers or just up the road to the farm to see the cows
What I hope I can give to my child/Children?
Trust and endless, unconditional love
At the weekend I can mostly be found…
baking or at the farm or in the car being a taxi service
What makes you and/or your family laugh?
My husband

Meet the Blogger – Helen Oakwater

unnamedToday’s Meet The Blogger comes from adoptive mum, coach, trainer and writer Helen Oakwater. You can find her blog on her website Bubble Wrapped Children.

Quick 5 – In my life at the moment….


Book
– Baby P the Untold Story by Prof Ray Jones

Music – Bruce Springsteen
TV programme – Sex in the City – missed it first time round
Food – anything gluten free
Pastime – swim

What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?
1. Letting go.

2. Watching them self destruct

What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?
1. That the impact of maltreatment and neglect meant they had massive holes in their past. I would have done much much more babying, regression and encouringing them to act younger than their age.

2. That healing takes time and kids need to know the truth about their past.
3. That BM (birth mother) lied and denied and SW (social workers) were scared of her.
4. Adoption support and therapy are essential must haves
5. The financial cost of not being able to work (due to full time therapeutic parenting) and funding therapy from my savings and pension mean I will have to work for the next few decades (while non adoptive parents and friends are retiring)
6. The body keeps score – the damage to my health through living with trauma for decades

Tea/Gin?
Why not both? Neither with milk

What do you think is your biggest source of support?
1. My friend and mentor Lynda (adopter)

2.Other adopters
3. Swimming habit (stopped my head exploding)
4. NLP and coaching which helped me see things from a different perspective.

Reward charts yes/no?
For traumatised kids no

For parents … maybe, especially if chocolate is involved

What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?
Do something about this now … it wont improve with time … it will get worse

My perfect adoption support would include…
How many pages do you want?????

If you blog about adoption and would like to tell us a bit more about yourself, then please email us at theadoptionsocial@gmail.com and we can send you our list of questions.

Snap Happy.

Today lovely Suddenly Mummy shares a snappy moment,

a

I am asked on a weekly basis how OB gets on with Baby Girl, and I think this photo sums it up pretty well. He was on the swing first, and asked for me to put BG on with him. Once he had her, he curled himself around her and arranged them both into this beautifully intimate cuddle.

At the back of my mind, there is always concern about how my decision to continue fostering will affect OB. I wonder whether the appearance and disappearance of all these children will affect his own sense of security and stability. Maybe it will, but I believe it will also bring incredible benefits and a wealth of rich experiences that we couldn’t have any other way.

We’ll see how it turns out but, if this picture is anything to go by, I am feeling positive.

Do you have a moment captured that we could share?

Contact us at theadoptionsocial@gmail.com

App Happy

Today Vicki from The Boy’s Behaviour is sharing her 3 favourite apps for Android…all available from the Play Store.

Timely
Timely
I only recently came across this app, and have fast become reliant on it!
It is an alarm clock/timer/stopwatch/clock, which of course most devices have on anyway, however, the difference with Timely is that it’s got some clever extras.

For example, the alarm goes off quite loud as expected, but it recognises that you have picked the phone up and immediately quietens down a little, rather than continuing at 100decibels! And, I also like the challenges you can set. Before you can silence the alarm you have to complete a challenge, which makes you wake up I can tell you. Choose from a pattern recognition, maths puzzle or shape matching exercise.

As with other alarms, you can set more than one, specify certain days for certain alarms, change the tone etc, but I’m really loving those little extras that help me wake up, and more importantly – stay awake!

Cymera
Cymera
A camera app, Cymera is a popular editing tool. As well as being able to crop, brighten etc, you can change the effect, put unusual lighting over the top of your image, add text, but also add certain stickers and bling up your image.

Easy to share too, you can show off your photos in other applications.


Out of Milk
Out of milk
The organiser in me LOVES this. It’s a shopping list app. Yes I know it sounds mundane, but where I was once the proud owner of a perfectly functioning (albeit selective) memory, I am not anymore.
This helps me keep a list to hand, which means I can add to it wherever and whenever I recall that we’ve run out of loo roll/milk/plasters/ear plugs – delete as appropriate.

I spent a little time setting it up with prices of each item too, which means when I write a full shopping list I can see how much it’s going to cost me – if necessary I can alter it to reflect my budget.

There are other features too which allow you to basically keep your larder up to date, however being able to create a list (with pricing) is perfect for me.

App Happy

Today Sarah from The Puffin Diaries shares three of her favourite Apps.

I’m going to share with you the three most favourite App’s I have on my phone. It’s hard this because I do like an App, I’ve had all sorts overtime, games, language translators, lots of picture editor Apps and of course all the regular social media Apps. However I’m going to share the ones I use often and find useful or fun.

HeadSpace
hsI started using this App a while ago as a way of finding some calm space for myself. It offers directed meditations to help you achieve mindfulness and inner peace, yes very groovy. I started with the free Take10 meditations, aimed at beginners. This ten free sessions of ten minutes long. They are really simple and easy to follow and supported by some great little animations. I’ve really enjoyed this introduction to meditation and am thinking very much of subscribing for further sessions. You can find out more here

Met Office
hs

I love to know what the weather is going to be like and this is, I think the best App for that. It seems to be the most reliable one I’ve found and I like that I can set my locations and others so I can see what the weather will be where I am and maybe where I’m going. Find out more here

Solitaire
hsI don’t play games on my phone…much. I am a bit of a Candy Crush girl but I tend to use my iPad for that, especially since my phone got wiped and it took me back to the beginning. So if I need to fill time with a game I choose this card game, I don’t seem to get bored of it but that could be because I don’t play it a lot, honest. Find out more here.

 

So do you use lots of Apps and could you choose just three to tell us about? Email us at theadoptionsocial@gmail.com to join in.

Snap Happy from The Boy’s Behaviour

Today Vicki from The Boy’s Behaviour is bringing you a photograph, and the story behind it…

Leaving home profile

Many readers of The Boy’s Behaviour will know this image. It’s of Mini and Dollop, and was taken in November 2011 when Mini was coming up to 5, and Dollop was about 18 months old.
It was one of those lovely crisp Autumn days, and we were strolling around one of the local parks, with the intention of collecting pine cones – hence the bag in Mini’s hand.

It was once of those moments, completely unplanned, where the children just connected for a moment – happy, companionable, innocent siblings. I quickly snapped it, and it turned out to be THE shot. And not only is it featured on my blog, it’s featured in enormous glory on our living room wall.

It’s a lovely park to walk around, with a couple of good play areas. It holds many memories for us – a picnic to celebrate Grandad’s birthday, the place where Dollop first rode her bike, Mini’s first time on a zip line, and it boasts a fabulous tree that the children enjoying climbing. And this photograph means so much to me, that we now go back to the same spot every now and then, and redo it. We even took Dollop in her wheelchair one time! Below is our latest…taken just a week ago. And we’ll continue to do this, to record the seasons changing and the children growing.

Leaving home september 2014

Meet The Blogger – No Bohn’s About it

Today meet the blogger questions is from Erin at  No Bohn’s About It

Quick 5 – In my life at the moment….

nobohnsaboutitBook: I haven’t had much time for personal reading lately. The kids are super into the Ramona series by Beverly Cleary, that is about the extent of my recent readings.

 Music: We’re pretty into music from musical theatre lately. The current favorite is definitely Matilda.

 TV programme:  I have a slightly embarrassing addiction to reality television. Lately my favorites are Dancing With The Stars and The Little Couple.

Food: Indian Food! And Sushi! Those are my two favorites. We make a pretty big effort to try lots of different cultural cuisine. Now I’m hungry.

Pass time: Seems like most of my pastimes these days involve the kiddos. We’re pretty big on biking, camping, and being outdoorsy. We also really like live theatre and going to see shows.

What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?

 Navigating the world as a transracial adoptive family. I feel like many adoptive families just kind of fit it, but ours sticks out. Everywhere we go it’s pretty obvious that we are an adoptive family.

What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?

 I wish I had known that love isn’t enough. There is so much more to being an adoptive parent then just love. You need love AND knowledge.

Why did you start blogging about adoption?

 I started blogging as an outlet for my feelings. I didn’t have many people in real life in similar situations. Through blogging and reading the blogs of others I have learned so much and become a better parent.

Where do you get your blogging inspiration from?

 From my children of course! They are hilarious and insightful. They crack me up daily and always give me something to think and talk about.

What made you choose the blogging platform i.e blogger/wordpress that you did?

 I use wordpress. I didn’t know much about blogging and just randomly googled “wordpress or blogger” the first article that came up suggested wordpress so I went with that. Never gave it another thought.

Tea/Gin?

Tea! Every morning before I wake my children up for the day I drink a tea and relax with 10 peaceful minutes to myself.