Today’s Meet The Blogger focuses on Nicola Marshall from Braveheart Solutions, you’ll find her blog here.
Book – Blame my Brain by Nicola Morgan
Music– Gary Barlow and Keane
TV programme– Criminal Minds
Food– Anything low carb, low sugar (yeah right)
Pastime– Drinking coffee in Starbucks or shopping
What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?
To manage my own emotions. I believe our top priority is to make sure we are in the right place emotionally so that we can give them what they need. It’s very hard to be therapeutic in your parenting when you’re shattered and stressed yourself! As they say on aeroplanes put the mask on yourself first before you help someone else – the same is true of parenting a traumatised child. The challenge of making time for yourself, setting aside the guilt and being self aware enough to know when you need time out is the biggest challenge I believe. When I am in a good place myself I can cope with virtually anything they throw at me!
What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?That most of your relationships will change – that lovely large network of supportive friends and family that you discussed during assessment will all of a sudden change – if not disappear all together.
This took me a while to accept and to appreciate the new circle of friends I’ve found through adoption.
Where do you get your blogging inspiration from?
Life – the things that happen to me and my family or around us. I gain a lot of inspiration from films, songs, books, other people speaking. It might be a quote or something someone says as a passing thought. Every day there are new things to write about!
What do you think is your biggest source of support?
The church and friends in the church. Also my other adoption friends – people who understand me when I come in and give a heavy sigh – there’s no explanations needed. It’s hard to keep positive on this journey and I’ve seen many people struggle desperately to see the hope for our children, I’ve felt that lots of times too but I know there is hope and that with the support we can find around us it’s much more bearable.
What makes you and/or your family laugh?
Silliness – silly faces, voices, dances, jokes – anything that’s spontaneous and genuine. The children struggle sometimes to be natural as they so want people to like them and to fit in, so when they do something amazingly funny, clever and impulsive it’s brilliant.