Tag Archives: fear

Ensuring safety without forcing fear

Today Emma, an adoptive mum wants your advice on reinforcing safety without heaping on the fear…

A Problem SharedYesterday I was 2 minutes late getting to school, at least 2 minutes later than usual. My normal routine is to go to my youngest daughter’s class exit and then my eldest meets me there. If eldest isn’t out before youngest, then we walk to and wait at eldest’s exit for her to finish.

Eldest has been told on many occasions to go back to her own class if I’m not there, though I (until now) have been there everyday unless pre-arranged with both the girls and their teachers (in the event of playdates etc).

So today, as I’m rushing in, eldest comes strolling out of the school gate with one of her friends who’d spotted my car near that particular school gate (there are 3). Youngest’s class hadn’t CYMERA_20140305_152029even started to come out at that point, so eldest should have gone back to her classroom or at the very least waited by youngest’s class door.

There are security issues with eldest, she knows this…at least I thought she did. But I’m not sure how to reinforce how important this issue is without scaring her.
I could of course insist that her teacher makes her wait for me at her own door, but I was hoping that – at 10 – she would be able to handle the independence of walking around the corner of the playground to wait for me.