Tag Archives: image

Is it good to share?

We’re pleased to share this thoughtful guest post today from Charlotte, an adoptive mum of two…

I had an interesting conversation in the playground this morning which got me thinking…

Mum K: XXX has been really difficult recently. She’s a good girl, they play nicely, but when I leave the room she bickers with her sister.

Me: Oh my two are like that too. The entire summer was just the two of them bickering constantly.

Mum M: Really? I thought your two were really good. They seem so polite and kind and when I look at your Facebook all I see is lovely photos of you all looking happy and smiling.

Me: Oh no. K really hates T. The only reason I only share the good bits is because I don’t want to fill my timeline with negative stuff and I have other Facebook groups where I share the difficult stuff.

Mum K: I’m so glad I’m not the only one. When I look at Facebook all I see are lovely photos of families and happy children, but then I actually talk to other mums and find out that all children are like it, or at least, aren’t the angels that we perceive them to be. 

And so the conversation continued. We realised that our 5 year old daughters were all behaving similarly, and commiserated over the frustrations involved. We concluded that it’s good to talk and not just rely on the projected or perceived images.

That was a conversation between me and two mums of birth children. They both know my ‘status’ as an adoptive mum. What I found particularly interesting is that they’re right of course!
On Facebook, and online generally I share my good days to the world, and my bad days within my adoptive parents groups, and seemingly, most of my adoptive parent contacts do that too.

In some of my adoptive parent groups, you often see a status preceded by ‘I couldn’t share this on my own wall but…’ or ‘You saw the positive pics on my wall, but in reality….’.

On forums and on Twitter I tend to share the shittier days because I know I’m surrounded by people that get it and can give me support. And that’s what I tend to see too. I wouldn’t want to share the good days too often in those places because it might seem like bragging to those who are really struggling.

But from my conversation today, it’s clear that others – birth parents – have struggles with their children too. Of course they do. All children can be challenging at times.

I’ve always felt a little concerned about sharing the difficult days on my normal Facebook page.
– Will I come across as ungrateful, after all I have 2 beautiful children?
– Will I be judged?
– Will I look negative all the time?
– Do people really care about my struggles?
– Aren’t everyone else’s children perfect? Won’t mine look awful in comparison?
– Will it bring it home that I’m crap at being a mum?
– Is it fair on my kids to tell the world they’re being little toe-rags?

But actually, after today, I think all it’s done for me is isolate me from some people who could be understanding and supportive. And it’s isolated them by making them feel that it’s only their children that have problems sometimes.
In addition, it explains their reactions in the past to comments I’ve made about particular challenges and behaviours. I’ve presented such a good picture of my family that on those odd occasions where I’ve talked about the bad days they’ve been seen as recoverable minor one-offs rather than the pretty major, violent difficulties that they are.

So what now? Well, I’ll continue to post about the great days, and I’ll continue to seek support from my adopter-only groups, but perhaps I won’t feel quite so bad about sharing the disastrous days occasionally.
What about you? Do you manage to share a balanced view of your life? Do you keep it all in or are you open?

Words, photos – and getting them together

 

Phone apps – there are loads out there aren’t there. Some for iphone, some for Android, some for Windows phone users.

As you know here on The Adoption Social, we like a good photo, and we’ve already talked you through Instagram – a great phone app for images. And we’ve told you about the wonderful website that is www.picmonkey.com, today I want to tell you about an app that I’ve recently started using on my Android phone called Phonto.

Phonto is an app that allows you to put text over your images. There are lots of apps out there that do this, and of course the Pic Monkey website does too (with the added bonus of being able to use any fonts that are installed on your computer, as well as those provided by the site itself), but I love the ease of this app.

1410428166960

 

It’s not a photo editor. If you want to crop it, put a colour wash over it, or add an effect, you’ll have to do that elsewhere, and then come back to Phonto which could be a bit of a faff, however, the number of fonts is amazing and better than other apps I’ve checked out and for 1410427432698me, this makes it worthwhile.

 

You can however rotate the image. And another bonus is getting to choose whether you save as .png files or jpegs.

 

 

Adding photos to your blog can really enhance it. You can say so much with a photo, and there 1410428430103is no need to risk your child’s identity – with the pixelating that we’ve told you about before, and now being able to easily add text over the top to further obscure the photo, you can create amazing images to accompany your posts.

And as with many apps these days, you can easily share your photo on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Or use one of the other share options (Pinaterest, Flipboard, Drive, Google+ etc). Perhaps you just want to save it. 1410426920031

Downsides? Well, yes, as a free app, you have to put up with a little bit of advertising. But for 85p you can buy the advert free version.

So that’s a bit about Phonto. If you like using your phone for editing images, then you might want to look around for some other apps that do similar things. Cymera is very good for editing and adding images, but I found the text limitations somewhat restrictive.

If you have another app that you particularly like using, let us know?