Tag Archives: life on the frontline

The Potato Group News

Bamboo Scaffolding: part 3: makes more sense if you have read parts I and 2

How we avoided a Thai jail and . . .did we get home safely?

I arranged a late checkout for one room, asking D to bring all his stuff to my room before noon. Our airport transfer was at 4pm. I Whats App’d a reminder the night before and at 11am . . .miraculously he was nearly ready at 12 and allowed me into his room to help him carry some of his stuff. I was able to flush his loo and put some rubbish into bags so the cleaners didn’t have a fit! . . .how much chaos can a traumatised young person create in 8 days? Then we set off for our last brunch.

Mistake number 1: His anxiety was already rising in anticipation of the long plane journey home. Why did I suggest we tried the café 50yards to the left instead of the one 100 yards to the right, at which we had eaten 2 or 3 times already? When stressed, D becomes more rigid and less able to manage even small changes. He sat at the table, refused all food and drink and put his head down.

Mistake number 2: I should have paid for my order without waiting for it and left. Instead I waited for my food and gave D my room key as he stomped off back to the hotel. After eating, I hurried back, asked for a second room key and spotted D head down skulking in a corner of the lobby. I put my remaining Thai Baht on the table beside him and encouraged him to order a snack or drink. I went back to the room saying – ‘come up for a shower when you want’. No eye contact, not even a grunt.

Fascination with weapons and fear: Since I met my son, aged 4 years, D has had a fascination with weapons. Developmental trauma and insecure attachment, with an avoidant and disorganized pattern, leave D fearful for his own safety (e.g. found alone in a flat by police aged 2y). For years he has kept a symbolic weapon under his mattress, a small wooden Maori spear, later pieces of ‘found’ wood or metal, later still a baseball bat, a machete and a crossbow . . . . . All the latter we confiscated on discovery, facing his rage, on the basis that ‘rage without machete’ is safer than ‘rage with machete’. He quickly discovered that Thai market stalls (where I bought sarongs and elephants) sold a full range of weapons. He told me that during the week he was offered cannabis and an AK47 . . . . . . .a micro moment of positive maturation, he said he declined them. However, he did produce a flick knife, a taser torch, and a metal kosh, which he insisted were legal to transport home in our shared suitcase.

D skillfully places me in no-win situations regularly. Do I refuse to pack them and risk the inevitable meltdown with him destroying the hotel room and/or storming off and missing our non-transferable flight, or showing adolescent to parent violence to me leading to arrest by Thai police, or do I pack them and face arrest at the airport? I packed them. We shared one small check-in suitcase and each had hand luggage.
I assumed D was still in the lobby; he did not respond to my infrequent ‘Whats App’ messages. I Whats App’d him encouraging him to chill in the room while I spent an hour by the hotel pool.

When I left the pool, some 3 hours after he left the café . . . . .I sat across his table in the lobby, ordered myself an ice cream, and asked if he wanted a drink . . . .he finally accepted his first food or drink in 15 hours. It had taken him 3 hours to emotionally regulate himself enough to be able to eat, drink and join me to finish packing.

Despite having given me dodgy items to pack, he became acutely disregulated when he saw I had a wooden broom with my luggage. I didn’t make Mistake number 3: I left it and a few other items in the room with a note for the cleaner.

Back down in the lobby, I checked out and we waited for our transfer: luckily this was a short wait and we set off to the airport in a heavy tropical storm.
The airport: Drug smuggling and Thai airports are often in the news; I was fairly certain we didn’t have any drugs. From stepping into the terminal, I had a bodily sense of fear – just an inkling of the fear that my son endures most hours of most days.

Checking in: We checked in, the case sped off down the conveyor belt. A repeat of the slow zigzag through security checks, then a large and very noisy airport lounge. Between us we had enough small change to get D a Subway. Bland globalization gives D reassuring familiarity whilst I seek local, quirky and different. D always finds even the shortest wait a challenge. The loud tannoys in several languages, including barely decipherable English, were steadily winding D up; there was no quiet corner to retreat to. As his agitation increased, a woman from Thai tourism approached me to complete a lengthy questionnaire. – that could have been the tipping point to meltdown. Why didn’t I politely decline.

I had tuned out the tannoy, but D said they were announcing my name to go to the desk at our gate. I was asked about the contents of my case, which was being brought off the plane. I was escorted into a private part of the airport, abandoning D in the airport lounge, hastily thrusting his passport and boarding pass into his hands. I was more fearful for D’s reaction to abandonment than what was about to happen to me.
Look out for Part 4 : . . . . .did we get home safely?

www.thepotatogroup.org.uk 

Life on the Frontline – 05/07/16

lotfA weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.

 

Tall started the week with an internal exclusion and by the end of Wednesday he had accrued another one.

He actually doesn’t mind an internal exclusion because he’s on his own and can just get on with his work without distraction. It has been commented, by school, that he produces some of his best work in this environment. Well off course he does. It’s not really rocket science.

The problem seems to be with his relationship with support staff, he isn’t trusting of them and he there for acts very defensively with them. This behaviour is considered rude and threatening by school, which I do understand because I know how Tall presents himself when in this frame of mind.

Small started the week, by getting on a train, to a seaside town, with his choir. He was excited and nervous at the same time, I was just very nervous. I had decided to travel up on the Wednesday to watch the group perform on the Thursday.

I taught my yoga class on Wednesday and returned home to pack a few bits and get on the road. Ten minutes before I expected to leave School called “Can you come and collect Tall, he’s not cooperating”.

On collecting him, he seemed agitated and irritable. A run in with another student and the run in with support staff which followed had caused his black mood.

It didn’t last long once we were home, he softened and relaxed with a hug and some kind words. He was worried I wouldn’t go on my travels and insisted that the problem in school had nothing to do with my going away. I made sure he was settled, Dad was at home working so I was able to leave.

The trip away was a nice break for me, some time spent on my own, in a relaxing environment. The journey however was quite tiring.

The performance by the choir was brilliant, I was glad I had made the journey. Small however, found it a little difficult to see me and didn’t want me to leave. The teaching staff suggested we took a little time for the two of us, and go for a drink. This extra hour seemed to work and I left him happily munching a donut on the beach with the rest of his group.

Friday Small returned home tired and a bit grumpy but he had managed the week which has made us very proud of him.

Friday Tall completed his second internal exclusion for the week.

 

In Other News

It has also been my birthday this week, something Tall struggles with so, it has been a very low key affair but still enjoyable.

Tall was home from school by 9.30 yesterday, Monday, after not starting the day well. I’m hoping today will be a better day for him. Something is so triggery for him at this time of year.

We are on a big countdown to holidays now, I really can’t wait.

Life on the Frontline – 06/06/16

lotfA weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.

 

 

With it being half term there is little to report. No anxiety about school for the boys or me, no difficult therapy sessions, no demands being made on anyone…..it’s been bliss. I have however noticed how much more confident I have felt this week and again it leads me to ponder why school’s feel the need to create such levels of anxiety for our children, and us the parents.

The boys and I have been together all week, dad has been away a lot, and the three of us have mostly relaxed at home. The only time the boy’s haven’t been at home is when they have visited the local park together.

This is a new thing for us, I reported recently about how proud I was when they achieved a successful visit. So it’s become a thing, going to the park. They both seem to enjoy going and playing, meeting friends and making friends. It’s been very good for Small as he has been able to catch up with some of his old friends.

One such friend even came to call for Small yesterday and both Tall and Small played or “hung out” with her in our garden, she even stayed for our BBQ.

These events, would not even seem worth commenting on to parents of a none adopted children but for me, seeing this progress for both of them in their social activities is really huge. I know it adds to their confidence in their ability to interact and for Small it means he still has friends where we live, which is good.

So back to school this morning and Small has gone off relatively easily. Tall however is still in bed and refusing to go, no other reason than “I don’t want to”.

I understand, school means, deciphering lots of people, process situations and trying to make lots of right choices. I’m sure it’s exhausting. Hopefully I’ll get him there by lunch, a half day to ease him back in.

In Other News

I also managed to teach my yoga classes this week and as always they create a perfect oasis of escape for me, a tiny bit of me time.

Holmes and Watson the new guinea pigs are becoming more confident, Watson particularly seems to have a lot to say for himself.

Excited that as I type, I’m having some raised vegetable beds built in the garden. Cant wait to start growing things again.

Life on the Frontline – 31/05/16

lotf

A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.

I’m so proud of my children this week, well I’m always very proud of my children but moving away which I have discussed in recent weeks I thought I’d talk about all the amazing things happening for us.

Tall is doing so well with his DDP therapy, facing some huge emotions each week and sticking with it. The last two weeks he has spent most of the session curled in a ball whilst together we have faced the fears of rejection and trying to get what you need from the adults around you.

We’ve unpicked some very complicated stuff and made sense, for him and me, a couple of behaviours he has. The important one for me was understanding why he tells people in school that he is hungry, when he’s actually not.

I know you could surmise and I have but school, who have literally accused me of not feeding him, would not believe the scenario I was painting for them. Having worked this through with the therapist, some of my assumptions have been proved to be true and it has introduced me to how this also plays out at home some times.

Basically when Tall wants to talk about fears and worries in school they don’t want to engage with him, however if he tells them he’s hungry, they make him toast. He has worked out a simple way of gaining attention and have an adult nurture him.

At home it has revealed for me the importance for Tall of having food made for him and provided for him. He doesn’t have any bad habits around food and eats well but he likes to be cared for and having mu make food for him is a big part of that, no doubt because it didn’t happen in his early years.

So him being able to let us know in the session exactly what the “I’m hungry statements means” is big and brave of him and I am so proud of him for facing these difficult discussions and working through them.

I’ve noticed many positive changes in Tall recently, small situations which would have spiraled into a black hole for him, he now seems to be able to side step, rethink and overcome.

Just this weekend I was upset about something and had been a little cross with him. I hid in the garden with my tears only to be found by Tall.

“Are you OK mum?”

“Yes fine, just leave me alone please”

Tall came closer and but his arms around me and gave me a hug.

Previously the “leave me alone” would have triggered “rejection” and off he would have gone and i’d have created one more thing to cry about. So this small gesture of a hug is a HUGE progressive step.

So to Small, well he weathered his first after school detention this week. Adamant he was not staying on the Wednesday evening, I was fully prepared for a phone call to say he’d not turned up. However, as I waited in the school car park an hour after school finished, a smiley young man appeared laughing with and joking with a fellow student.

He mischievously shared with me how they’d passed notes during the detention and as we pulled out of the car park another group of students waved and smiled at him. Seeing him enjoying this camaraderie and involvement with other students gave a warm pang of happiness for him. I know he’ll still tell me he has no friends but I’ve seen otherwise.

Following the theme of friendships, Friday he arrived home, delivered from his bus, agitated.

“The year elevens have left today” he stated as he came in through the door.

We exchanged a couple comments on this and then he proceeded to tell me a little more about his day. Almost mid sentence about some lesson or other, his eyes weld with tears and he blurted

“All my year eleven friends from the bus have gone”.

He fell into my arms and sobbed.

So only after only getting on the bus for maybe seven weeks, Small has become attached to some friends on the bus…no of course I’m not celebrating this very sad moment.

Together these boys have also had a couple of successful trips to our local park together. Navigated any problems, found friends to play/hang out with and come home with smiles on their faces.

So look at us all grown up this week. I love my family.

In Other News

On top of everything our house has been in chaos as the kitchen is redecorated. It is done now and I’m enjoying sorting and moving back in to a fresh, bright space.

Our two new guinea pigs are causing much joy for everyone, they are so cute.

Yoga continues to inspire me and look for all the good their is around us, during my recent low, this has what has pulled me from my pit.

 

Life on the Frontline – 24.05.16

lotf

A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.

I’m even later this week, a whole day. Whilst no new incidents have occurred in the last week, previous events have continued to take their toll on our family and shake our foundations.

It’s hard to explain just how much ill considered comments can damage the progress of a family. When one or two members of school staff take a snapshot of your family at one of those rare moments of chaos and complete vulnerability, and then base all thoughts and beliefs on that moment.

I know it is not real, I know what they’ve seen is not reality; many people around us can confirm this. However it is hard to prevent this image of yourself from eating away at all the positive work you and your family have been doing.

We have come so far in recent months, I know we’ve turned a massive corner, although I don’t deny that we have come from a place that wasn’t perfect. As always I have asked for and sought out the support we need and deserve and lots of that support is now in place.

Tall and I are doing the DDP, I have received therapy which has helped me with the secondary trauma which I was undoubtedly struggling with. Small is in a new school and that school is much more capable of supporting his needs and we are working well with them.

I’ve never denied that we’ve struggled at times, or that we’ve not always made the right choices during our struggles. However, we have repeatedly shown extreme resilience in the face of poor or none existent support.  We have regained balance and enjoyed lots of success and progress, in the face of much adversity.

To me those in the roll of supporting children with additional needs will always extend to supporting the family. It’s impossible to not be involved with that child’s home life if you are fully supporting the child.  Therefore those supporting the child/family should not be creating the adversity with which this family are challenged. I think it’s deplorable that people in such roles are not made more accountable for their flippant opinions and ignorant ideas, which can lead to families feeling victimised and vulnerable.

That said, I am managing to see beyond a couple of peoples inaccurate views of my family. We are bigger and better than their ignorance and arrogance and these views will not knock us down.

In Other News

3 Reasons to be Cheerful…

1, the sun is shining

2. we are getting new guinea pigs tomorrow

3, I have yoga in my life.

Life on the Frontline – 09/05/2016

lotf

A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.

I experienced school anxiety last week. That overwhelming surge of loneliness heaped with paranoia over the world outside not understanding my children.  But first the week began with some very sad news, which no doubt played a massive part in triggering the events which brought about my school anxiety.

Stuart the guinea pig died on Monday. He had a little cold and sniffle but within a few hours he had totally deteriorated and I suspected he was not long for this world. He wasn’t. Tall was very upset, this guinea pig had become partly his after we found Small was allergic to him. My husband had also become very attached to the little fella, hanging out with him in the evening, lolling and snuggling on the sofa.

So after the bank holiday weekend both boys returned to school somewhat unsettled. By the end of the day we’d had phone calls about both boys from their different schools.

Tall’s incident involved him hitting out at another student and swearing at staff. In line with procedure a one day exclusion, for the next day, was issued.

Small was reported to be unsettled and not overly compliant, could we suggest anything?

So Wednesday saw me take Tall along to my yoga class with me, as dad was away, where he sat very quietly whilst I taught my class. After the class I had a missed call from Small’s school. Small had been under a table all morning, refusing to come out or do any work. Unable to get hold of me they had phoned dad who had then talked to Small. Dad had resorted to bribery and promised Small a gift from London if he behaved.

Small seemed to be pushing the boundaries with his new school, you know in that “ok we’ve all got on reasonably well for a month or so , let’s see what you do with this” sort of way.  What is a little bit disappointing is that in response they’ve panicked, thought the best thing is to ring mum and dad and asked them to sort it. This has not shown they have control of the situation.

Sensing this anxiety Small atomically ramped up his own need to be in control and a string of additional incident occurred throughout the day. This included a couple of confrontation situations with other students, another sign, to me of Small’s escalating anxiety.

Then, that evening I was suddenly struck by the thought, that Small had started to struggle in school since the introduction of a girlfriend to his life. As we lay on my bed later, I gently probed Small about how his friendship was going with this girl.

“She hides my bag, she steals my lunch and she kicks me” he reported. Sure enough he had a massive bruise on one of his shins from one of these kicks.

“Is she nice to you at all?”

“Oh sometimes”

So Small was going into school, not knowing if the person, who is supposed to be his friend, will be kind to him or not. I suddenly realised that not having control over this very complicated area of his life would make him feel very anxious and he would therefore start taking control of other aspects of his day.

So we finished the week with a little more positivity, Tall was integrated back smoothly and we had a clearer idea of Small’s school troubles which we will be able to discuss in a review meeting on Monday.

Let’s just say I was happy to see the weekend this week.

 

In Other News

Tall did an underwater sea walk at the Sea Life Centre this weekend and said it was amazing. It looked it too.

We’ve had my dad to stay this weekend and thankfully Small has handled it brilliantly compared to their last visit at Christmas.

Small’s Wonder Woman obsession continues, he has now bought himself a build-a-bear Wonder Woman bear with full outfit.

Life on the Frontline 25/04/16

lotf

A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.

“Get the hell out of my bedroom” was the charming response I got from Tall when I attempted to get him up for school on Monday.  It was a response repeated each time I entered and tried to rouse him from his pit. In the end, as I had no understanding of what exactly was wrong, I suspected nothing except tiredness, I delivered my consequences for not attending school and decided I would leave it at that.

Five minutes later Tall stumbled down the stairs, bog eyed and very grumpy. He swore a couple of times and left the house, without his school bag, lunch or the homework he’d spent a couple of hours on that weekend. I emailed school so they knew what they had in store.

Monday afternoon, he bounced back through the front door after a really good day and very apologetic for his morning behaviour. He had just been very tired. I made it clear that being tired wasn’t a sufficient reason for being as rude as he had been but I did feel relieved for his good day and simple explanation. I suppose it is a delightful combination of adolescent hormones and taking things out on those closest to you.

Tuesday morning it was Small’s turn. He didn’t want to go, as he hadn’t the previous Tuesday. I realised there was a definite pattern to this behaviour, same classes same teachers.  He didn’t want to go and that was it, no amount of persuading or encouragement was going to work. I probed a little as to what the problem could be and I finally got something to work with. His maths and drama teacher are at the moment one and the same and he has both these lessons on a Tuesday.

“She’s stressy” he told me.

“Why do you think that, did she say or do something?”

“In maths she told me I couldn’t leave the class ten minutes early if I didn’t finish my work. I didn’t understand the work we were doing and so I copied the person next to me”

“Oh did this make you feel worried?”

“YES”.

Small is allowed to leave each lesson ten minutes early to visit pastoral and check in with them.  I assured Small I would speak with school about how he was feeling and we would get things sorted for him.

Eventually we left for school about half an hour late, Small still a little unsure. On arrival at school, students were wandering between tutor group and first lesson.

“I’m not going in yet” said Small.

“Why?”

“I’m not being seen with you in those yoga leggings” he says nodding towards the lively patterned lycra covering my legs.

So I walk into school alone and Small follows once all students are safely in their lessons. More signs of adolescence starting to set in.

So after two really tough mornings I am apprehensive on Wednesday when I wake, as Small is supposed to be getting the bus to school, for the first time. The private hire minibus has agreed to collect him from outside the house, which is really helpful. As I come downstairs to make myself a cup of tea, I realise Small is already up and downstairs and dressed. He is in a fine mood and I think excited.

Tall also gets up with little prising or persuading and is also in an upbeat mood.

By quarter past eight both boys are out the house and off to school.

Well if only it could always be that easy.

 

In Other News

Small has got the bus to school every morning; I have a whole extra hour in my day now.

Tall and Dad enjoyed a trip to robot wars this weekend.

Small and his girlfriend “hung out” together on Friday at the park and then ate chips together.

Life on the Frontline – 18.04.16

lotf

A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.Back to school, what a week that was.

Whilst Small went off fairly easily on day one, by day two he wasn’t having any of it. It was a straight forward refusal; he did not feel he could go. It was emotional and he became very animated about how difficult it was for him. In the end, I had to just back down and leave him to calm.

He finally made the choice to go, understanding that certain things would be possible if he did. The power of persuasion or, more accurately, bribery.

Once in the car he seemed less certain of his decision and as much as I tried to keep engaged, he gradually started to retreat into himself. By the time we got to school, he was not prepared to get out of the car. We sat for a while as I gently tried to encourage him, but he begin to climb between the front seats and head for the boot of the car.

When I brought a member of pastoral out to help that’s exactly where we found him, in the boot. I walked away hoping the member of staff could work a little magic. It took a while, but the promise of no pressure to go to lessons, a hot chocolate and a game of cards, eventually did the trick. As he walked off into school, he looked back, over his shoulder with eyes of steal. If looks could kill.

I obviously worried about how he would manage all day and eagerly awaited his arrival home.

“So, how was it?” I tentatively enquired.

“Oh it was good, I want to go on the choir trip now and I’ve got a new girlfriend”.

A supportive email from the school, confirmed that he had actually done really well in school that day, being very kind to another student in pastoral who was very upset.

So the choir trip. A letter home before Easter said that the choir would be travelling to, and staying, in Scarborough. Small has enjoyed being part of the choir, especially the cake eating that sometimes happens. However, he said he really didn’t feel like going.

However, his music teacher seems to be very encouraging and obviously had a talk with him in school. So after an email conversation, checking that she knew what she was getting herself into, we’ve paid the deposit for Small to go on this trip. It feels so wonderful that Small is really being accepted in this school. In fact he’s not only being accepted his great qualities are being recognised and encouraged.

Whilst Small has still moaned a little about going to school, he’s been much better the rest of the week. I think it was just a wobble; he needed to check that the school were still there to support him. The member of Pastoral who managed to persuade him out of the boot of the car expressed their commitment when he said “We are here to work with you Small, not against you”.

So Tall has managed fairly well in his first week, managing a lot of his lessons with little trouble.

We had a very intense DDP session this week, where we managed to stick with some very difficult emotions which saw Tall curl into a ball and stay there for a lot of the session. He was listening though and was taking in what the therapist and I had to say and found it very difficult to listen to any of the positive things we said about him. I was really proud of how well he did.

In Other News

Tall has also started a weekend club at school, called Saturday Superstar, where he had a great time, this weekend,  doing team building activities. I think the aim is to increase the confidence of the children involved and I think it will be good for Tall to make connections with other boys and girls in his year.

The Teenage years are definitely on the horizon for Tall, grumpiness and tiredness seem to be a part of every weekend now.

In our rural location all the fields are full of lambs at the moment. No matter what problem I may be facing, then sight of lambs can always put a smile on my face.

Life on the Frontline 11/04/16

lotfA weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.

I don’t want to sound like a broken record but I’ve still been feeling a bit low. Going into the Easter holidays I felt full of dread instead of my usually delight at not having to cope with school for two weeks. I think it’s fair to say March has just not been my month.

The long Easter weekend was just too long and by the Monday I felt irritable and angry. I wanted to leave, just get up and walk. Every little demand made on me was more than I wanted to give and my resentment was stacked high. With this in mind we did very little over the following days as I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to take my children anywhere. Add to this a working from home dad, his office was too cold apparently, and the four walls of our home became a molten pot of blistering tension.

Over the week a number of explosions irrupted, shouting, slamming of doors and tears and that’s just from the grownups. The children were living on their nerves and this brought an increased need for reassurance, which I obviously didn’t feel much like offering. It was a horrible few days.

Thank the lord that a wonderful friend offered to have Tall for a two night sleep over the middle weekend and granny stepped in to have small for a night. A child free 24 hours was exactly what I needed and the opportunity to spend some quality time with my husband.

We ate out, twice, dinner and lunch, and it was wonderful to enjoy a meal without having to sooth a boy who didn’t want to be there and another that was sulking in an ever increasing adolescent sort of way. We talked, we laughed, in fact we laughed a lot, and we enjoyed each other’s company a lot. It was joyous.

The second week of the holidays was built on the foundations of this very enjoyable time. It wasn’t instant; I still felt a twinge of resentment at the return of my children.  However, things gradually improved, even to the point where we left the house, together.

Now we are on the cusp of returning to school, I don’t want it to happen, I want to spend more time with my children and not have to think about school.  We’ve got a long term ahead and it could be draining. I think another night out for the husband and I might be needed.

In Other News

The boys brought home school reports at the end of last term. Both are doing well, moving in the right direction with a couple of impressive highlights.

Through all my misery, I’ve still taught my yoga classes through the holidays. A complete life saver.

We’ve gained another pet, Small now has a hamster called Bubbles.

What are your Experiences of DDP?

Today our mum from Life on the Frontline asks you to share your DDP experiences.

Recently I wrote about how Tall and I had started DDP therapy. The first session brought about a very horrid evening. Tall was angry and aggressive in a way I’d not seen for a while and, as my husband was not at home, I was actually fairly scared of what might occur. Thankfully I managed to defuse the situation and all was well the next day. However, I was left with a sense of oh my goodness can I cope with this again on a regular bases. Very selfishly I feel that I’m actually starting to get my life back a little, teaching my yoga classes and both boys doing better in school, well at least there most days for a full day.

depressionWe have since had two more sessions and there has not been a similar occurrence afterwards, however, we’ve not been digging too deeply just yet. I know it will take a bit of time for Tall to feel able to share certain emotions. I’m not about to abandon the DDP therapy, I know it’s much needed and will really help us all. I know I was just feeling a little scared after that first session and I now know what to expect might happen and I can prepare for it. I’m sure it’s going to get harder before it gets better. What I’d like to ask of you, is to share your own experiences of DDP therapy?

Did it get worse before it got better?

Did it help your family?

How did it help?

Do you have any tips on supporting your child through this tough type of therapy?