Tag Archives: Meet me

Meet Me: Fostering Hope Through Adoption

Today’s Meet Me post comes from blogger Fostering Hope Through Adoption – be sure to check out her blog here.

Quick 5

  • Book – The Connected Child By: Karyn Purvis; The Whole Brain Child By: Dr. Siegal
  • Music – NeedtoBreathe
  • TV programme – Parenthood
  • Food – Soups-chili, chicken noodle, vegetable, lentil, minestrone and the list goes on 🙂
  • Pastime – Making blanket forts with my little brother.

 

What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?
Feeling helpless when my children are struggling with their pasts. All of the therapy, quality time, and sensory toys will help them cope, but it will never make the hurts disappear. Somedays, I wish I could go back and fix everything. It’s hard.

What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?
I wish I would have taken classes on how to connect with a child from a hard place. We are now taking TBRI classes and we have learned so much. I feel like we would have bypassed many hard days and failed attempts at reaching our children if we would have come to the table with more knowledge.

What inspires you?
Helping people improve their health with nutritious foods.

Who inspires you?
My husband. He’s amazing.

Tea/Gin?
Tea

What do you think is your biggest source of support?
My faith.

What do you do to take care of yourself?
I need to do more of this…oops! I do love to learn. often read research articles, books, and blogs. I also love to run. It gives me time to think, reflect, and pray.

What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?
If your children were babies, would you go to them when they cried and meet their needs? Treat your older children the same way. Their cries may not come with tears, but may be filled with rage, neediness, or isolation. Be present in every situation. They need you even when it seems like they would rather do anything else then be with you, they need you.

My perfect adoption support would include:
foster moms, adoptive moms, moms with children who have behavioral and/or academic challenges, and older moms who have been through the trenches and succeeded.

When I look into the eyes of my child I see:
fear, but I also see a sense of renewed hope.

The best thing we did this week was…
spending time with our kids around their first bonfire and eating their first s’mores with them.

If you could take your children anywhere in the world to see something where would you go?
I would take them to their siblings and allow them to play all day long.

What I hope I can give to my child/Children?
Faith, security, love, and a sense of self-worth.

At the weekend I can mostly be found…
watching one of my kiddos play a sport, at the grocery store, or at church.

What makes you and/or your family laugh?
Singing, “Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar?”

Meet Me: Plainlyamess

Today’s Meet Me post is from adoptive mum and tweeter @plainlyamess, read on to find out more…
  • Book – Three More Words
  • Music -Sing-A-Longs & Lullabies for the Film Curious George
  • TV programme – The Middle
  • Food – Guacamole
  • Pastime – Writing

What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?
Maintaining my individuality. Most days, I have little energy to move beyond meeting the most urgent needs of our family.

What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?  
Attachment isn’t something I can control at all and it doesn’t develop by simply rocking my child and spoon feeding him. He may want those things, and yet he will also have unique and complicated needs due to his individuality and complicated history. My job is to get to know him where he is and nurture him in doses that don’t freak him out. Giving him space is sometimes the best way to show him I care.

Who inspires you?
Adult adopted people and those who grew up in the foster care system who are willing to share their stories

Tea/Gin?
Strong tea with two sugars and whole milk

What do you do to take care of yourself?
Write

What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?  
Your children are telling you what they need through their behaviour. As they begin to feel safe, they begin to communicate that safety through their behaviour too. It’s the parent’s job to help their children feel safe.

My perfect adoption support would include…
An adult adopted person investing in my child, consistently

When I look into the eyes of my child I see…
an intense and strong individual I am still getting to know

What I hope I can give to my child/Children?
Empathy

At the weekend I can mostly be found…
in my pajamas

Meet Me – Tom

Today’s Meet Me is from Tom, an adopted teenager…

  • Book –   Shiverton Hall (Emerald Fennell)
  • Music –  I don’t like music
  • TV programme  – Friends
  • Food – Anything, I love food!
  • Pastime – Riding my bike

Can you choose 3 words that describe your experiences?   
Decent, awesome, tiring

When I look in the mirror I see…
An awesome young handsome boy

The best thing I did this week was…
Going to my friends house for the day on Monday. We played on X box and had cuppa soup for lunch.

At the weekend I can mostly be found….
Watching TV

What do you think is your biggest source of support?
My mum and dad

What are your greatest hopes for yourself?
To become an author

Meet Me: Gareth Marr

Our first Meet Me post today comes from blogger, tweeter and campaigner Gareth Marr…

Books
  • ‘Sapiens – A Brief History of Mankind’ Yuval Noah Harari. Did you know we lived on the earth with other Home species and probably mated with them!
  • ‘A Brief History of Seven Killings’ Marlon James. The Jamaica the tourists don’t know.
  • ‘Artie Shaw, King of the Clarinet. His Life and Times’ Tom Nolan. He married 8 times including Lana Turner and Ava Gardner, dated Betty Grable and had Billie Holiday as his singer in an all white band.

Music
It’s all modern New Orleans jazz

  • ‘Breathless’ Terence Blanchard
  • ‘Say That to This’ Trombone Shorty
  • ‘Stretch Music’ Christian Scott

TV Programme – Dr Foster

Food – soft and easy to digest and made by Mrs M

Pastime – Anything with son. This week conkers.

What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?
That after us, school is the most important thing to get right. ( I think we passed, so far)

Who inspires you?
So many, but this week Louise Bomber who did a brilliant on day conference for local adopters last Friday.

What do you think is your biggest source of support?
My wife and son.

What do you do to take care of yourself?
Breathe, carefully and with concentration. Yoga.

What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?
‘If you are lucky enough to be in the club, you gotta pay your dues.’

The lovely Gareth can be found tweeting as @garethmarr and blogging here..

Meet Me: Anna

Our second ‘Meet Me’ of the day is from our very own Monday columnist Anna…

Book – Landmarks by Robert Macfarlane
Music – Dirty Gold by Angel Haze
TV – The Sopranos (missed it first time round, boxed set binging!)
Food – Homemade woodfired pizza – best invention EVER.
Pastime – Swimming

Most memorable piece of advice
Not really advice but a quote:

‘Who can live with his own truth? it is enough to know it is there, it is enough to know it at last and that it feeds a secret and silent fervour in the self in the face of death’ Albert Camus

When I look in the mirror I see…
…a familiar stranger

If I could travel anywhere in the world…
It would be West Wales-I love it. The sea and the mountains, what else is there?

What makes me laugh?
90’s comedians (mostly Stewart Lee & Richard Herring..) Charlie Brooker, Caitlin Moran, Bridget Christie, The Mighty Boosh, Blackadder, Bottom, The IT Crowd, Father Ted, my children and my friends i.e. most things!

What inspires me?
People, hope, nature and fear

Who inspires me?
My children & family, people who say what they mean and mean what they say.

Ideal support package?
Counselling (accessible from being told onwards) honesty, trauma informed models of working and a willingness (from the adult world) to talk about adoption.

#TASchat – Join us for more Twitter Chat

#Taschat is back next week.

taschat

We’ve really enjoyed the twitter chats we’ve hosted so we are planing to do more, hope you approve. We return next week on Thursday 24th September at 9pm GMT the subject is #MeetMe.

Although some of you are old friends and we always enjoy hanging out with you, we would also love to meet some of our newer twitter followers. And we also thought it would be fun for us all to learn a little bit more about each other. So in line with our new feature #MeetMe we will post questions which aim to reveal a little bit more about your life, don’t worry nothing too revealing.

So grab a tea, coffee, wine or gin and come and have a friendly chat.

We will also be hosting a #Taschat during National Adoption Week on Thursday 22nd October 9pm GMT.

As yet we have not decided on the subject to discuss, we thought maybe you would like to make a suggestion. Last year we did the #Howareyou? as we know many of you find the week difficult.  As we are featuring all posts from adoptees that week. We’d like a subject which can involve adoptees as well as adopters. Have a think and put your suggestions below in the comments or message us on twitter.

We will also do #Taschat in November and December here are the details:-

November – Thursday 19th 9pm GMT – Surviving Christmas

December – Thursday 10th 9pm GMT – subject TBC

Meet Me – a Chance to Join in.

Since day one of The Adoption Social we’ve run a feature where bloggers are able to contribute to our website with posts like Meet the Blogger and Me and my Blog. However it seems a little unfair to limit this opportunity just to those who blog. So many of you tweet and comment on our Facebook page and have a huge input to our online community. So maybe you too would like a chance to tells us a little about yourself.

If you are interested, all you do is answer a few questions about yourself. You chose which five you want to answer from the list, but we ask everyone to complete the quick 5, it’s all a bit of fun. There are two sets of questions one for adoptive parents and the second set for adoptees.

Meet Me questions:

For everyonePlease answer these 5 questions,

Quick 5 – In my life at the moment….

  • Book –
  • Music-
  • TV programme
  • Food
  • Pastime

Then choose 5 questions minimum to answer form the following list..

Adoptive parents:

  1. What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?
  2. What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?
  3.  What inspires you?
  4. Who inspires you?
  5. Tea/Gin?
  6. What do you think is your biggest source of support?
  7. What do you do to take care of yourself?
  8. What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?
  9. My perfect adoption support would include…
  10. When I look into the eyes of my child I see..
  11. The best thing we did this week was….
  12. If you could take your children anywhere in the world to see something where would you go?
  13. What I hope I can give to my child/Children?
  14.  At the weekend I can mostly be found…
  15.  What makes you and/or your family laugh?

Adoptees

  1. Can you choose 3 words that describe your experiences?
  2. My perfect support network would include….
  3. What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?
  4. When I look in the mirror I see…
  5. The best thing I did this week was…
  6. If you could travel anywhere in the world to see something where would you go?
  7. At the weekend I can mostly be found….
  8. What makes you laugh?
  9. Tea/Gin?
  10. What do you think is your biggest source of support?
  11. What inspires you?
  12. Who inspires you?
  13. What do you do to take care of yourself?
  14. If you have children of your own, what are your greatest hopes for them?
  15. What are your greatest hopes for yourself?

So select your questions and get answering. Once you are done your email your answers to theadoptionsocial@gmail.com