Tag Archives: memory box

Anna Writes: My fantasy life story book

PhontoThanks to the Adoption Social I have been finding out in much more detail about different aspects of the world of adoption, some fairly recent developments and other aspects that I had just not been aware of -life story work is something that I find really really interesting; as an independent member on a local adoption panel, I hear a lot about life story books, and life story work in general- though in that context it seems to be the preserve of social workers and happening without the input of the people affected- as with adoption itself..

The work of Root and Branch has been demystifying some of this for me and has got me to thinking about- if I had received (or ideally co-created) a life story book/memory box what would I have liked it to contain?
What would have been important to foster more of a sense of identity and could have helped to counter some of the shame that I felt about being ‘different’? What questions would I have liked answered?

( I am clearly writing this with the benefit of hindsight, which I’m aware removes me from the reality of children and young people trying to make sense of their journeys so far.)

I suppose the most obvious starting point would be photographs- growing up, there were only about 2 or 3 pictures of me and my brother up in the house, it’s not that my parents didn’t take them or get them developed, it’s more that my mum didn’t like to share, so hundreds of unseen childhood photos remain hidden away in cupboards gathering dust. The youngest photograph I have seen is me at 16 months, it seems a strange hole to have no baby photos.

Pictures have subsequently always been really important to me, I enjoy documenting life through photos and writing down the funny things that my kids say so that they can have a record of their lives when they are older..so for me, the more pictures I could have seen the better- ideally I would have also had a picture of my birth mum, dad and grandparents- as much of my birth family as possible, to have some sense of where I fitted. To help locate some resemblance to other people.

I would like to have known where I was born, what time, how much I weighed and whether or not I was breastfed- simple things, but facts that would ‘normalise’ and could give some colour to the picture surrounding my birth. My adoption record states-

‘A is illegitimate and was born normally, mother has agreed to adoption’ not quite the first line most people would want in their life story…

It would’ve been good to know where my birth family was from, where they had lived, places that I might have been able to visit growing up to provide me with a sense of geographical connection. It was much later in life when I realised some of my birth family had lived really close to me and with this knowledge my relationship to my home town took on a new significance, but only after I had moved away.

For my own children I have saved things like the ID bracelet from hospital at their births, the welcome to the world cards, knitted gifts and special mementos like locks from their first haircut and first lost teeth (yes, maybe I’m overcompensating as I never had any of these things…) but they feel important, I would like my children to have a sense of their own history, an understanding that their milestones were and are, so important, or at least worthy of being documented so they can be revisited.

Letters would have been great- although knowing the kind of person that I was, any scrap of information would have been pored over and re- read a thousand times, but it would have been so helpful to have had some understanding of why I was given away- in the words of the people who made that decision.

I was told by my adoptive parents that my birth mum was too young to look after me but that was all- pretty much for 18 years- I think if I had grown up with some sense of the context of that decision and that actually several other people were involved in it and also that my adoptive parents actually really wanted me rather than being in the ‘right place at the right time’ all of those things would have helped combat some of the very negative feelings I had about my own worth.

So, photos, letters, mementos and facts, a few of the things that would have made a difference, things that would have helped me to have an increased sense of identity, connection and perhaps even worth- these items and objects coupled with an openness and willingness on my parents part to talk about adoption would make up my fantasy life story book.

I know its impossible to pre-empt what an individual child might want or need from a life story book but perhaps if we ask people who have been through the adoption process what they might have liked, it could help…

Anna.W

Summer #Memorybox

MBbadgeSummer holidays in full swing? No time to blog? Then we have just the thing for you!

 

We know that during the holidays when you have the children to entertain, holidays to plan and pack for, uniform shopping to contend with, and activity days & playdates to chauffeur your children to, blogging isn’t the top of your to-do list, so we fully understand if you don’t get around to linking up to the Weekly Adoption Shout Out over the next few weeks.

So we’ve decided to bring back #Memorybox for the duration of the holidays so even if you can’t write a whole blog post, perhaps you can link up a photo or short post, or share a memory with us. You don’t even have to have a blog to join in this one – you can link up tweets or Instagram photos. Show us your summer memories and positive moments. The linky is open now, and will remain open until the end of 11 September.

Sharing your positive moments might encourage others who having a more challenging time, and they’re a lovely way to remember the best bits of your summer. So come on, get sharing.



Memory Box 08/09/2014

Come and Share your magic moments from the summer….

MBbadgeSo the summer holidays have drawn to a close and many of our children are back in school. So do you have a special memory from your summer? If so please share it with us here.

Did you go somewhere special? Maybe the time spent together has built bonds and new progress has been made in your relationship? Was it just a little smile or a something that was said, that made one day very special.

Remember it doesn’t need to be a big post, maybe even just a picture that captures your memory box moment.

So link up below……

 



Memory Box 21/7/14

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I love this post that The Family of Five linked up to last week’s #MemoryBox – makes me think of the many funny words and phrases that are now an everyday part of our family’s vocabulary thanks to our children…

Have you got any happy moments to share? Remembering the good times might help your Monday morning go a little smoother… Just add the link to your post below and we’ll share it for you, and give it some love…


#Memorybox 07/07/14

Come and share your good news…..

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We love to hear about all the good bits in your life. It’s always helpful to find the small things we are grateful for ,even when times are hard. So put a smile on our faces and share your magic moments.

Here’s a lovely post from the family of five from last week.

 

You can link up below and also share on twitter with our hashtag #memorybox.

 



Memory Box

READ ALL ABOUT IT, FANTASTIC NEWS, HAPPY MOMENTS HERE……

Well we’ve had a week full of lots of wonderful news. It all started last weekend with our visit to Britmums live ,where we met some fantastic people and did some great planning for the future of The Adoption Social. Vicki wrote about her Britmums experience as a #Memorybox post last week and here is the image she posted, me meeting the amazing Camilla Batmanghelidjh.sarah meets camila

We also had all the great news from The Open Nest and the announcement of their conference in October you can find out more about all this in our post here.

So what is your great news or your little bit of something to shout about, form the last week. We want to hear about it, please share it with us.

You can share your news with the hashtag #Memorybox

 



Memory Box 2/6/14

Share what made you smile in the last week….

MBbadgeThe Memory Box link up really does put a smile on your face on a Monday and throughout the week. Thanks to everyone who links up a shares their moments of wonder and delight. I’m sure when things are a little tough seeing other peoples positive moments helps others to the see light at the end of the tunnel, it definitely has for me.

So here we are again ready to share the memories from the last week that have brought you happiness or helped you through. Tell us all what went well for you this half term week. How did you make it work for you.The link is open all week and please try to visit some the other magic moments that are shared.  You can also tweet your happy moments with the hashtag #memorybox.

So come and link up below….



Memorybox – 26/05/2014

The Linky where you share the really good bits, big or small…….., 

Isn’t it nice to think about the positive stuff? As parents sometimes we get bogged down with the daily stuff, and the difficult stuff. It’s really great to see so many people sharing their positive moments.

If you need inspiration, see this lovely post, Touch Wood, from Stickleberry, last week ….

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This is a week long linky open from Monday morning to Sunday evening, and you can link more than once. Simply click below to add your details. Don’t forget you could also tweet your photo memories and we’ll pin and re-share them too. Use the hashtag #MemoryBox when sharing on Facebook and Twitter.

If you’re taking part, consider adding our badge:

Memory Box
<div align="center"><a href=" http://theadoptionsocial.com/category/memory-box/" title="Memory Box"><img src="http://i1358.photobucket.com/albums/q775/puffindiaries/MBbadge_zps1b79792c.jpg  " alt="Memory Box" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

is linky list is now closed.

 



#Memorybox 2/12/2013

Hi there, join in another fortnight of smiling moments. It’s all about those little achievements and little shared times that make your day. It doesn’t need to be a long post, it may just be a picture with a few words, which ever, we would really like to see it and enjoy it with you.

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I love this post from Adopt and Keep Calm featured in our last #memorybox. A post about the first time your child asks you for something special…read it here and you’ll find out more.

So if you have something like this to share link it up below…..