Can anyone help today’s poster? This adoptive mum is asking for advice…
I have 2 children – a son and a daughter.
My daughter has no known issues and is meeting all her milestones appropriately.
My son, who is older and not biologically related to his sister is another matter. He has attachment difficulties and sensory processing disorder. He suffers hugely from anxiety, and he manages this through attempts to control everything. My son also gets angry very easily, and lives his life in a hypervigilant state. We are having therapy and feel able (currently) to manage our son’s issues.
But, I am concerned that our daughter will see that it’s normal for boys (and therefore men) to behave as her brother does. When he is having a meltdown, we usually remove our daughter for her safety. This of course means she doesn’t see the eventual calming and resolution – just the fists flying.
What is this teaching her about men? Sadly in her school class she also encounters this as there are several children with additional needs, although of course there are many more that don’t. As much as I want to teach her about being accepting towards other people’s needs, I don’t want to teach her to accept violence directed at her.
I’m not sure how to approach this with her without putting ideas into her young head. Or am I worrying over nothing?