A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.
We reached the end of term, over a week ago with a massive shunt. Tall was hardly in school, due to his inability to cope, whilst Small hurtled towards the end of year six. There were numerous assemblies, a prom and special year six activities in school for youngest, and he managed most of these things with great purpose and a desire to be included. How far we’ve come with him since the beginning of this school year. However, for me, managing these activities, whilst dealing with the whirling emotions of Tall, was full on. To add to the mayhem of finishing on the Friday, Saturday was Small’s birthday.
He wanted a party at home with games and a mad hatter’s tea party. Whilst I was, in the most, really pleased that he chose to honour his own emotional needs in a birthday party (no requests for paintballing to fall in line with his piers) it did leave me with a lot to organise and do.
Finding games that eleven year old boys and one eleven year old girl will be prepared to participate in, is not easy, even with the internet at your finger tips. But with a few toilet rolls at my disposal, a selection of silly dares and a large bag of sweets, we managed to have a lot of fun for over an hour. The weather was also kind so we could be in the garden.
They all then sat down to a tea party where lemonade was poured from tea pots and crisp sandwiches were on the menu. I think it all went well, but to be honest it’s all a little bit of a blur. Sunday I sat and stared, a lot, and cuddled children on the sofa whilst watching anything, even that American rubbish, without complaining.
So the holidays have begun and to be honest it’s not been that bad. There has been a noted alteration in Tall’s demeanour; he’s much more relaxed and happier (did you hear that school he IS more relaxed at home) and he even attended a full week of sports club at his own request. Small and I have chilled, watched films, been for a swim, been shopping and chilled some more. He then asked if he too could go to sports club on Thursday.
Now there are very obvious reasons for my separating the boys on some days in the holidays, it makes life easier.
“Please, please can Small come today” begged Tall, in a moment of brotherly love.
“Please, please” sang Small.
I went against my better judgement,agreed and off they went, almost arm in arm, to a day of multi sports.
By the end of the day they were still friends, had, according to the coach, been supportive of each other and got on well. Phew a relief.
The next morning Small began again “please, please can I go, they’re playing dodge ball today and that’s my favourite”.
Again, with reservations, I said yes and off they went bickering all the way out the door. I knew then what the day would hold.
I cautiously called in before lunch, just to see how things were going. I was asked by the coach to “have a word” with them both. I had that word but came away feeling anxious about the afternoon ahead.
I cancelled my afternoon shopping trip with my mum and sat at home crocheting. Partly because I wanted to be close in case of a phone call and partly because I knew I’d need to be in a good frame of mind later.
Both boys lasted the day, of which I am really proud of them for, but we then had to sit through the prize giving for the week. Neither Tall nor Small claimed a prize for their sportsmanship however Tall managed a prize for attending for a full week. Both came away deflated, tired and grumpy.
Thankfully I remembered on the way home, a moment of genius, that I had ordered them both some books from the local book shop. I quickly called in and picked them up and headed home. Both boys took their books and went off to find a corner to read in. I was astonished. No pleading for computers, no both boys buried their head in a book. This was a very welcomed first.
The evening ended calmly and with both boys happy to go to an early bed with a new book tucked under their arm. For once we had achieved the almost impossible, a calm bedtime after a difficult day.
In Other News
Small’s favourite teddy bear went missing after his party. I searched for over twenty four hours without success and I was beginning to feel quite stressed until he was discovered in the bin. It seems, allegedly that Daddy, who tends to have a wombling style to his tidying, might be to blame.
Because our lives aren’t busy enough, we started doing some decorating this week too. Why do we do these things to ourselves?
I’ve just returned from a wonderful night away with a friend, it was so much fun and a much welcome break. I was feeling rejuvenated for all of around an hour.