A weekly blog from a family made by adoption, warmed by the laughter, broken by the sadness, held together by love with a big dollop of hope, oh, and often soaked in mummy tears.
I’m going to keep it brief, it’s Mothers Day and whilst I’m hopeful we are going to have a fun day out, I’m also aware that micro management is required to ensure we don’t experience the hell like disasters previous Mother’s Days have produced. I’ve made a resolution not to cry this year.
On Monday Tall was removed from school by the police. Following his two day exclusion from school at the end of last week, he returned to school Monday morning, into an integration meeting and fairly quickly after into class. In the meeting, three school adults relayed their commitments to him but also their expectations of him and I could see from his darting eyes and fidgeting fingers he was not taking it all in. As he left the room he didn’t seem happy but I trusted that with support he could get back into the routine of school.
My main contribution to the meeting was that I really didn’t want Tall excluded again and any concerns about his ability to cope and the school should call me straight away and he can come home. Everyone seemed in agreement.
At 2.30pm I received a call “Tall is not coping”
I rushed into school, in my head I’d scoop him up and head up to the PRU to collect Small. Never did I expect that he would refuse to come, so far imbedded into the reptilian part of his brain that I was even seen as untrustworthy and a threat.
We found him wandering the corridors of school swearing at anyone and everything, grabbing at posters on walls determined to “trash this s***hole”
Eventually we ended up in a stairwell and there we remained for two hours, staff and myself trying to encourage, persuade, entice him to come home. At points he came at me in, threatening and wild, at other times he placed himself in huge danger hanging off the banister and leaning provocatively down a flight of stairs. The narrative was constantly foul mouthed and abusive.
At one point it was discussed “could we physically place him in your car?”
The fear from everyone was that he would be dangerous whilst I was driving. Not long after that the decision was made, by school and against my desire, to call the police.
Even once this was explained to Tall, he still would not be moved. He wrapped his arms around the stairway banister, determined in not being prised away.
When they arrived the police were calm, polite and of course professional, taking notes and asking questions.
When it came to the removal it went very calmly, my boy I think finally overpowered by another controlling force. He gave very little resistance as he was marched to the police car, one arm twisted up his back and his neck in a firm grip. I cried to see him bundled into the back of that car as straggling school students stopped and stared.
Once home he ran to his room and rearranged his furniture, blocking his door with everything. I wondered as I stood at his door, “how will you eat?”
Half an hour later he was in the kitchen eating his dinner, he had a bath and was asleep soon after.
So since that first disastrous day of the week we’ve been gradually taking small steps back into school. Tomorrow, Monday we will be up to three lessons. Also tomorrow we have another big meeting over Small and his progress in school. It’s going to be an all go week…again.
In Other News
I enjoyed a lovely day at an art gallery with my mum this Saturday.
Whilst Tall has been calmer since his Monday outburst his attitude and back chat is driving me mad.
Thank goodness, this week Small has been having a great time in school and had two full days in main stream this week.