Meet Me: Plainlyamess

Today’s Meet Me post is from adoptive mum and tweeter @plainlyamess, read on to find out more…
  • Book – Three More Words
  • Music -Sing-A-Longs & Lullabies for the Film Curious George
  • TV programme – The Middle
  • Food – Guacamole
  • Pastime – Writing

What is your biggest challenge as an adoptive parent?
Maintaining my individuality. Most days, I have little energy to move beyond meeting the most urgent needs of our family.

What do you wish you had known before you adopted your children?  
Attachment isn’t something I can control at all and it doesn’t develop by simply rocking my child and spoon feeding him. He may want those things, and yet he will also have unique and complicated needs due to his individuality and complicated history. My job is to get to know him where he is and nurture him in doses that don’t freak him out. Giving him space is sometimes the best way to show him I care.

Who inspires you?
Adult adopted people and those who grew up in the foster care system who are willing to share their stories

Tea/Gin?
Strong tea with two sugars and whole milk

What do you do to take care of yourself?
Write

What is the best or most memorable piece of advice you have ever received?  
Your children are telling you what they need through their behaviour. As they begin to feel safe, they begin to communicate that safety through their behaviour too. It’s the parent’s job to help their children feel safe.

My perfect adoption support would include…
An adult adopted person investing in my child, consistently

When I look into the eyes of my child I see…
an intense and strong individual I am still getting to know

What I hope I can give to my child/Children?
Empathy

At the weekend I can mostly be found…
in my pajamas

2 thoughts on “Meet Me: Plainlyamess

  1. Fiona Rowe

    Thanks for this, it inspires me as an adult adopted person (and grew up with many foster siblings) to get my writing head on , you are not alone-enjoy those pj days too!

    Reply

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