The Boy’s Behaviour – a blogging story

Today, another holiday special, this time on Vicki, writer of The Leaving home profileBoy’s Behaviour, and co-founder of The Adoption Social.

 

I started The Boy’s Behaviour back in the days where we were really struggling with our son Mini and had just turned to our GP for help. A few months later we also contacted our local Post Adoption Team and were assigned a social worker.

I decided to write partly because I just needed to offload, partly to share the journey with others, and also as a record of what we were going through – an online diary of sorts.
I had met adopters in my area, but wasn’t friends with any, and my support network consisted of close friends and family, who I really hadn’t spoken too much for fear of judgement or misunderstanding.

My very first posts came thick and fast as I rambled on about anything and everything – 3, even 4 times every week I’d write about the behaviours that we were dealing with. I needed to get it all out there. I vented, I raged, I shared (probably over-shared!), I questioned and I ranted. And not all of my posts are necessarily about Mini’s behaviour and adoption. I’ve shared some personal things too – about my dad’s suicide, my pregnancy, and more.
Over the years as we’ve received help – counselling,
theraplay, CAMHS appointments, courses etc I’ve shared what I’ve been told but the posts have slowed down as we’re not in the dire place we were when I began.

 

2013-07-26 10.28.18 (2)These days I write when something particularly good or bad has happened – and I enjoy sharing posts about some of the activities I do with the children, that makes me feel more like a ‘normal’ mum…the one I imagined I would be. In fact, my most popular post is one of these ‘holiday crafts’ posts for Melted Bead Bowls.

In many ways the blog was a starting point from a very low, dark, quite lonely place, and I’m now somewhere very different…

I’ve met (in real life, and virtually) people that get it.

I’m getting help now for the depression that has been in and out of my life for some time.

I’m part of a supportive community of adoption bloggers who can empathise and understand all of the things I’ve written about because their children are the same, they can offer support and advice that has worked with them, and they appreciate the background of my children.
And
family and friends are now more aware of the bits of our life that they don’t see. I can write honestly and freely about situations that I would never be brave enough to talk about.

And my blog led me to my friend Sarah from The Puffin Diaries, without whom I might not be as sane as I am. We launched the Weekly Adoption Shout Out together as a linky to bring adoption bloggers together, and the success of that encouraged us to launch The adoption Social. And now we’re trustees of The Open Nest charity, helping to steer the organisation, using our own knowledge and experience as adoptive parents.

 

When I started writing The Boy’s Behaviour I never dreamt that I would meet so many people, learn so much or have as many opportunities as I’ve had. I’ve become passionate about blogging – in general, and as a support tool, and I hope that through my blog and The Adoption Social I can encourage others to use blogging for support, and for fun too!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *